Jamie Leigh Kalman was looking for someone who could eat and breathe fire for an upcoming event she was producing in Pensacola, Fla. So she reached out to Aubrey Nicole DePew, who had precisely those skills, on Instagram.
On Feb. 22, 2020, Ms. Kalman, a drag king, D.J. and fire performer herself, who was living in Sarasota at the time, sent a direct message to Ms. DePew, who lived in Memphis.
Although the event, scheduled for that Memorial Day weekend, was ultimately canceled because of the pandemic, the two developed a friendship. “Everything started out very platonic and professional,” Ms. DePew said.
Their relationship, however, blossomed as the pandemic became more serious. They kept in touch daily by texting, calling and over FaceTime. They even synced movies to watch together.
“I didn’t know if anything would come of it, other than our friendship,” Ms. Kalman added. “I knew I liked her, but seeking out a relationship was the last thing on my mind.”
With nowhere to perform anymore, they each ended up moving in with their parents, who lived 45 minutes from each other in Florida — Ms. DePew’s parents in Miramar Beach and Ms. Kalman’s mother in Navarre.
The two finally met in-person on July 8, 2020, for a pandemic-friendly, outdoor activity: paddle boarding in Miramar Beach. “Once we met in person, the friendship we had immediately sparked into something more,” Ms. DePew said.
The next day, they planned to do a river float at Morrison Springs, on the Florida Panhandle in Ponce de Leon, with some of Ms. Kalman’s friends. The friends ended up having to bow out, so just the two of them rented the only option they could find last-minute: a canoe.
“We paddled down the springs for a few hours, listening to music and bonding, then drove back to my parent’s neighborhood, swam in the clearest water I have ever seen to this day, jumped waves, and had an all-around amazing day,” Ms. DePew said.
A few days later, Ms. DePew went to Ms. Kalman’s mother’s home. “We played guitar and sang and wrote music while livestreaming on Instagram from her mom’s office, which Jamie had turned into a makeshift music room,” Ms. DePew said.
“I think it was probably when I realized how talented this girl in front of me really was,” Ms. Kalman said. A week later, they shared their first kiss.
The two moved in together on Jan. 2, 2021. They rented a house in Birmingham, Ala., where Ms. Kalman grew up, because it was equidistant from Memphis, where Ms. DePew’s company is based, and their families in Florida.
The proposal came that May, when Ms. DePew was performing at a venue in Birmingham. She invited a number of friends from Memphis for the show under the guise of a surprise birthday party for Ms. Kalman. After the curtain call, Ms. DePew had some of their friends bring out a cake that read “Marry Me?”
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Ms. DePew, 33, is the owner and creative director of QCG Productions, a circus entertainment company made up of queer-identifying performers and allies. She is also a burlesque performer, drag performer, aerialist and fire breather. She holds a bachelor’s degree in performing arts from the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York and Los Angeles.
Ms. Kalman, 41, performs under the name Spikey Van Dykey. Besides working as a fire performer, she is also a costume designer and part-time barista at Starbucks in Trussville, Ala. She was born in Queens, N.Y., raised in Birmingham and moved to Florida when she was 20.
The couple were married at Sterling Castle in Shelby, Ala., on Oct. 31 by Stephen DePew, Ms. DePew’s father, who was previously ordained by the Universal Life Church. He is an owner, along with Ms. DePew’s mother, Deborah DePew, of Queerly Beloved Beach Weddings in Destin, Fla.
Eric Gibson, the brother of Ms. Kalman’s best friend, Robyn Gibson, who died in 2016, participated in the ceremony.
The wedding was attended by 124 guests in front of a fire with color changing rainbow flames and included a handfasting ceremony and a feline ring bearer named Mr. Bynx.
At the end of the evening, after the couple walked through a sparkler send-off, Ms. DePew surprised guests by breathing fire off fire swords.
