Elena Isabel Bauer and Joshua Daniel Fagel’s relationship started as what they both refer to as a “D.F.M.O.,” or a “dance floor make out.” They met April 15, 2016, on the “gross, grimy dance floor” at Mr. Fagel’s fraternity house, Sigma Nu, on Stanford’s campus. “Our feet were sticking to the floor,” Mr. Fagel said. “It was straight out of a movie.”
“I knew who Josh was,” said Ms. Bauer, then a 21- year-old junior, who had developed a crush on Mr. Fagel, a 19-year-old sophomore who served as his fraternity’s social chair. They had known of each other, but she was determined to meet him that night.
“That is a microcosm of Elena’s personality,” Mr. Fagel said. “She sets her sights on things and executes.”
Neither was looking for a serious relationship. When Ms. Bauer approached him on the dance floor, they spoke for a few minutes about nothing consequential before Mr. Fagel leaned in for a kiss. “Going for the D.F.M.O. is not playing the long game,” Mr. Fagel said. But they exchanged contact information and, before long Ms. Bauer said, “I was like, wait, I’m catching feelings.”
On their first date, a week later, Ms. Bauer taught Mr. Fagel how to drive a manual car. “It came up in conversation that I had a stick shift, and he was like, ‘You can drive stick? Can you teach me?’”
Mr. Fagel described the dating scene at Stanford as “bleak,” owing in large part to the high cost of local restaurants. As a result, they spent time together at meet-ups and parties rather than on dates. “We were broke college students,” Mr. Fagel said. “How were we supposed to go to the Michelin Star Italian restaurant?”
