Andrew Platt answered the knock on his dormitory door a week before classes began at Grinnell College in August 2009. He found Sarah Mayer standing there.
Mr. Platt, then an incoming freshman, arrived early to the campus in Grinnell, Iowa, so he could go on a canoe trip for students, while Ms. Mayer, a sophomore, was participating in trauma and sensitivity training so she could serve as a student adviser.
“I took my role very seriously, as I would be responsible for more than 40 people on that floor,” said Ms. Mayer, now 29 and a data partnerships lead at Tempus Labs in Chicago, where she develops specialized clinical databases for oncology research.
As she and Mr. Platt were the only two people living on that floor at the time, Ms. Mayer did not have much of an opportunity to polish her sensitivity skills.
“She kept asking me an excessive number of questions like: Can I enter the room? Can I sit on this bed? Can I turn on this light? Care to talk?,” said Mr. Plat, now 28 and a consultant at FW Cook in Chicago, where he provides board-level advice on executive compensation to public and private companies.
About a year later, they began seeing each other casually, and by August 2011, Ms. Mayer’s senior year, they were dating steadily.
When she graduated and moved to St. Louis for an AmeriCorps position, they decided to stay together. The long-distance relationship that ensued got even longer when Mr. Platt took a job in Los Angeles in March 2014, despite Ms. Mayer vowing never to go there.
They broke up, but never broke it off completely, talking on the phone four to five times a week and visiting each other every six months or so until they got back together in May 2016.
“Just before we started dating again, I had a long conversation with my mom,” Ms. Mayer said. “I told her that I was thinking of giving Los Angeles a try because Andrew had been such an amazing part of my life for so long that I felt I owed him at least that much, and my mom agreed.”
Mr. Platt was elated. “We had developed the kind of connection with each other that both of us knew we could never have with anyone else,” he said. “She had all the qualities in a woman that I found were lacking in Los Angeles. There was a warmth and intelligence about her, a confidence and humility, and compassion and empathy. All of those traits that I found in her, made me a better person.”
Ms. Mayer moved to Los Angeles in January 2017 to be with Mr. Platt for an agreed-upon year. They enjoyed weekend getaways to Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, San Diego, Joshua Tree, and Tijuana, Mexico, before returning to Chicago in May 2018, after Mr. Platt had secured a new job there.
Mr. Platt proposed in June 2019 at the Alfred Caldwell Lily Pond in Chicago’s Lincoln Park, a secluded garden that the groom learned about from an episode of “Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown.”
“Our strong relationship is a product of shared values more than shared interests or likes,” Ms. Mayer said. “On an emotional level, we accept each others strengths and weaknesses.”
They are to be married March 29 in a civil ceremony at Ravenswood Loft in Chicago. Joseph L. Platt, the groom’s younger brother, is to officiate, with David P. Mayer, the bride’s younger brother, to take part. The couple originally planned to marry at the Jewish Reconstructionist Congregation in Evanston, Ill., before the Centers for Disease Control recommended that events with 50 or more people be postponed.
“This is a small civil ceremony with just our immediate families,” Ms. Mayer said. “As soon as we can, we want to have our big celebratory Jewish wedding, with all the people we love being a big part of it.”
■ The bride, who graduated from Grinnell College and received a master’s degree in medical science from Boston University, is the daughter of Ellen G. Mayer and Dr. Allan R. Mayer of West Hartford, Conn. The bride’s father is a gynecologic oncologist. Her mother, a registered nurse, is training to become a hospital chaplain.
■ The groom, 28, is studying for an M.B.A. at Northwestern. He graduated from Grinnell with two degrees, one in economics and the other in music (he studied classical piano there). The groom is a son of Carolyn B. Notkoff and Thomas J. Platt of Chicago. The groom’s mother, who is retired, was a workers’ compensation lawyer in Chicago. His father, also a lawyer, serves as the director of litigation for Metra, the commuter rail service.
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