“The only three men I had ever imagined a future with all told me that something was missing,” Oz Johnson wrote in her Modern Love essay. When Oz was 23, her boyfriend said she met 99 percent of his criteria, but she was missing 1 percent. Over a decade later, another man broke up with her via email. Their love was almost perfect, he said, but not enough to last.
What is this missing, unquantifiable feeling? Oz used to be haunted by these rejections, but now she has come to embrace the search for imperfect love.
After: Nancy Cardwell wasn’t looking for love — but then, at 58 years old, she fell passionately in love with tango. Her newfound zeal for the dance took her to Buenos Aires, where she fell in love again — this time, with a man named Luis.
Today’s essay was written by Oz Johnson and read by Samantha Desz. Nancy Cardwell’s story about tango was featured in the It’s Never Too Late series.
Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, Elyssa Dudley and Hans Buetow. The show is edited by Sara Sarasohn, and our executive producer is Jen Poyant. This episode was mixed by Sophia Lanman and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Dan Powell and Marion Lozano. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.
Special thanks to Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam, Julia Simon and Anna Diamond at Audm.
Thoughts? Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.
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