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Not Into Group Photography
My company is planning an off-site all-company retreat. As we are a virtual company, I am very excited to meet my co-workers. Management has planned one event, however, that I am dreading. They are buying everyone matching company T-shirts and taking various group photos to use on social media.
We are a small company, so I will be visible and recognizable in these photos. I am a very private person and don’t use social media, but many friends, colleagues and clients do. I am mortified at the thought of being in these photos that will be posted publicly, and having anyone I know see them, particularly my clients and outside colleagues.
We are a professional services organization and most of us are over 40 and have postgraduate degrees. Group photos in matching T-shirts feels silly and unprofessional (and frankly, embarrassing). It’s the kind of thing I would expect from a start-up of 20-somethings trying to build brand recognition, not a bunch of middle-aged professionals.
Is there any way for me to get out of this without seeming like a complete party-pooper?
— Anonymous
Your reaction to this fairly harmless team-building activity is pretty intense. Why is that? Now, I hate having my picture taken, and I’m not a fan of mandatory fun, so I don’t judge your distaste for a group picture. But what is so mortifying about wearing a company T-shirt with your colleagues? Why would anyone in your life think anything negative or judgmental if they saw these images? It may well be silly, but it isn’t unprofessional.
I hear that this is not something you want to do, but people over 40 with advanced degrees take group pictures sometimes. If you don’t want to take the group picture, don’t. It will be fine. Just tell your colleagues you would like to opt out. You don’t have to explain yourself. You’re allowed to have boundaries. I hope the rest of the retreat is wonderful.
What Do I Really Owe?
I recently completed my master’s degree, thanks to my company’s tuition reimbursement program. Since my employer took on the financial component of this schooling, I owe them three more years or else I will need to pay back the reimbursement in full.
For lots of organizations, usually a higher degree would equal a higher salary, although I know it is not guaranteed. Even so, this was a big part of the reason I wanted to obtain a graduate degree. My yearly review is coming up, and I would love to discuss the possibility of a raise now that I have a master’s. Because my organization paid for it, I feel like I don’t have a leg to stand on.
I have also been hoping to ask about a promotion, but I have been told we do not have the budget for it. I have already spent three years in my current role and am doing work beyond the scope of my job description. How can I negotiate this when the organization has already put a decent amount of money into me through schooling? I understand that it has essentially paid me in the form of a degree, but I also feel I deserve some recognition for the hard work I did to obtain the degree and the tasks I have been doing outside of the parameters of my current job. This is leaving me frustrated with my job, but I also do not have the option to apply for jobs elsewhere because I cannot afford to take on the debt from my master’s degree.
— Anonymous
Your job has not paid you in the form of a degree. Tuition reimbursement is one in a suite of benefits employers offer to recruit and retain talent. It’s fine to be grateful for the benefit, but you earned it. You don’t owe your employer anything beyond continuing to do your job well and, as mandated, staying for the next three years.
