Amanda Kay Cook was tired of relationships that went nowhere.
So, in October 2020, she drew up three nonnegotiables and rounded up 30 matches — “like on ‘The Bachelorette,’” said Ms. Cook, 29 — mainly from the dating apps Tinder, Hinge and Bumble, and a few from friends.
She rattled off her three nonnegotiables — they must be seeking a long-term relationship, share her political views and feel passionate about social justice — at the start of each required 15-minute FaceTime date. This quickly narrowed the field in half.
“If they hemmed and hawed,” about her requirements, she said, “they wouldn’t make the cut” and wouldn’t proceed to a second date.
(She even did an in-house Ted@Ted Talk on her dating method in 2022 when she worked there as an event planner).
In November, Andrew Philip Anello, who goes by Drew, jumped in, sort of, on his own.
One evening, at his place in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, a mutual friend and singer, Reise Hooper, mentioned to Mr. Anello that she had a friend “looking to meet someone.”
“I don’t have a single guy friend I could fix her up with,” Ms. Hooper said.
Mr. Anello, 26, was a bit miffed. “I’m single and I’m a guy,” he said, to which his friend half teasingly replied, “Amanda’s too good for you.”
