While Ron Carlivati has made a career out of writing soap operas, his longtime partner, David Rogal, often prevents Mr. Carlivati’s life from becoming one.
“I’m the more hotheaded, the more compulsive one in our relationship,” said Mr. Carlivati, 51, the head writer of the daytime drama “Days of Our Lives.” He also played the role of Mr. Rogal’s love interest for 16 years before they married on Aug. 1 in the front yard of their summer home in East Hampton, N.Y. There were 22 guests, down from 150 because of the coronavirus.
“When I’m ranting, David has this ability to let me talk myself out of some things, and patiently helps me work my way through other things,” said Mr. Carlivati, a former lawyer. “He’s the only guy who knows how to reel me in.”
As it happened, it was Mr. Carlivati, an Upper West Side resident, who first began reeling in Mr. Rogal (left), 55, of the Upper East Side, at a Manhattan movie theater in 2001.
“I was sitting there, alone, eating Twizzlers and minding my own business, when Ron and two of his friends tried making conversation with me by teasing and ribbing me,” said Mr. Rogal, chuckling as he spoke.“They kept saying, ‘Hey, are you going to share those?’”
When the movie ended, Mr. Carlivati said that he and Mr. Rogal “were sort of walking out together. We kind of began comparing notes on the movie and I was immediately attracted to him.”
“But I chickened out,” he added, “and we eventually went our separate ways and I was kind of kicking myself because I thought we had made this little connection, and now I was never going to see this guy again.”
Two weeks later, Mr. Carlivati was with one of his movie pals at a mixer at the Metropolitan Pavilion in Manhattan, when he spotted Mr. Rogal by the coat-check room. “I turned to my friend and said, ‘Hey, there’s Twizzlers.’”
They resumed their conversation and Mr. Rogal was soon sharing a cab with Mr. Carlivati, having accepted his spontaneous offer to go out for drinks.
They dated sporadically for the next two years, but became exclusive in July 2004 after Mr. Carlivati accepted an invitation from Mr. Rogal, who was hosting a party with a friend in the Hamptons.
“That’s when we really connected,” Mr. Carlivati said.
Mr. Carlivati, born and raised in Rochester, N.Y., graduated from College of the Holy Cross and received a law degree from George Washington University. He left his job in January 1996 as a lawyer in Washington to pursue a job as a soap opera writer. Nine months later he landed what he called his “dream job,” as an assistant soap opera writer on “One Life to Live,” and eventually worked his way up to head writer. He went on to become the head writer of the soap opera “General Hospital” before taking over in that same capacity at “Days of Our Lives,” four years ago.
Mr. Rogal was born and raised in Forest Hills, Queens, and graduated from Baruch College. He was until March a longtime interior designer at Vicente Wolf in Manhattan.
“In the beginning, at the movies, I thought he was just a cute guy with beautiful blue eyes,” Mr. Carlivati said of Mr. Rogal. “But we ended up sharing so many of the same interests, and we got along very well.”
So well, in fact, that Mr. Carlivati, whom Mr. Rogal describes as a “one-of-a-kind storyteller,” wouldn’t be adverse to allowing Mr. Rogal to play himself in one of his soap opera episodes. “I have the perfect role for him, he can play the sexy gardener and show off his good looks and green thumb all at the same time.”
