Of all the traits that have attracted Stephanie Nicole Insalaco and Thomas John Ciccotta to one another over the course of their relationship, perhaps none has drawn them closer than how each has treated other people along the way.
The two first connected on the dating app Tinder in August 2017. A Queens native, Ms. Insalaco was living in Middle Village. From Cherry Hill, N.J., Mr. Ciccotta, who goes by Tommy, had recently moved into an apartment in Forest Hills.
Their first date took place at his place, where they watched episodes of “The Office” and discussed shared interests such as Broadway shows, music and art, dining out, traveling and spending time with family, all the while enjoying a bottle of wine.
“One of the first things I noticed about Tommy is that he is a man of passion and empathy,” said Ms. Insalaco, 33, who was working as a Pilates instructor at the time. A graduate of Adelphi University, she holds a master’s degree in mental health counseling from Baruch College.
“She had a wonderful heart,” said Mr. Ciccotta, 27, who had relocated to Queens after graduating from Bucknell University to be closer St. John’s University, where he later earned a law degree.
Both felt an instant chemistry that soon led to more dates. Not everyone in their life was as enthusiastic about their early courtship as the couple, however.
“When I look back at the time Tommy and I began dating, people from both sides of our family were concerned that I was six years older than him,” Ms. Insalaco said, adding that Mr. Ciccotta displayed a maturity that eventually won over any skeptics.
In October 2018, she began her current job as a bereavement therapist at Calvary Hospital in the Bronx. The role, Mr. Ciccotta said, has since showcased her “amazing ability to care for other people.”
“You can’t have a job like Stephanie,” he added, “without truly caring about people and trying to help them.”
Ms. Insalaco said that Mr. Ciccotta was “always a shoulder to lean on” during her mother’s bout with cancer, noting that “Tommy always made sure he was present at every meeting regarding my mom, and a great listener when reports came in.”
When her mother died of complications from her cancer in January 2020, Ms. Insalaco and Mr. Ciccotta, two people who specialize in talking to other people, found themselves at a loss for words.
“It was a devastating time in our lives,” Ms. Insalaco said. “Thank God for Tommy, if he were not right there with me, I don’t know how I would have made it through all of that.”
Later that year, when the pandemic arrived in March, the two were still living apart. But by May 2020, as Mr. Ciccotta put it, Ms. Insalaco had “moved into my one bedroom apartment and never moved out.”
That summer, as they witnessed protests by Black Lives Matter and other progressive groups, “the biggest thing we bonded over was a shared passion for political and social justice,” said Mr. Ciccotta, who is now an attorney at Herman Law Firm in New York, where he represents survivors of sexual abuse.
“He has a passion and determination for giving a voice to those people who need to have their stories told,” Ms. Insalaco said. “It is reflected in his work.”
In May 2021, about a year after they began living together, the couple became engaged. Mr. Ciccotta proposed on Bow Bridge in Manhattan’s Central Park, where, going old school, he dropped to one knee when he asked Ms. Insalaco to marry him.
They were wed May 21 before 133 vaccinated guests at the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens. Frank Insalaco Jr., the bride’s brother, officiated at the ceremony after being ordained a Universal Life Minister for the occasion.
“Though we are a pretty serious couple, we also tend to be just lovers of having a lot of fun,” the bride said of their venue. “We often do things together where we connect with our inner child, and we hope that we never lose that aspect of ourselves.”
