Ms. Quiroz says she would feel this way without the pandemic. But current limitations made matters worse because it meant she wasn’t invited to the wedding, and the bridal shower was a drive-through. “There wasn’t even this fun social event that I was going to get to attend,” she said. “It rubbed me the wrong way.”
Ms. Meier of Beaumont Etiquette encourages clients to think through their communication with their guests and consider a no-gifts policy. “Yes, these events are about the bride, but they are also about the guests and their needs,” she said. “I think if you are throwing a party after your wedding, the no-gifting message is important. It does kind of make guests question, why are you throwing this party?”
Some couples, though, simply decide to put off their weddings altogether. Elizabeth Lombardi, 29, a software developer in Ontario, Canada, has been living with her fiancé for six years. “We don’t expect much of a change once we have a signed marriage license,” she said. “Because we are already so committed to each other the wedding is more about that celebration with our family and friends and loved ones.”
Even before they started thinking about postponing their wedding from June 2021 to June 2022, the question of whether or not to still host a bachelorette party or a bridal shower was a major concern for Ms. Lombardi. She couldn’t imagine having to navigate the questions that would arise if she decided to host those events after the fact. Would it seem silly? Would it feel like gift grabbing? Would people even come?
“I kept thinking about a bachelorette party, and maybe that’s just a girls’ night out and you could still do that,” she said. “But a bridal shower, the purpose seems to prepare someone for marriage, and that one seems odder to do after.”
The couple decided to postpone their wedding and wedding events to June 2022. “Growing up you go to your events for your friends and relatives, and you think about how yours would be, and you get this idea about how it would go,” she said. “I really like the idea I had in my head, and I am still clinging onto that tradition.”
