Some moments of crisis in a relationship can be overcome and, thereby, strengthen your union. However, in some situations, which we will describe below, you need to understand the plain truth: it is too late to save a dead relationship. It is better to separate, reluctantly, but to maintain peace of mind. Psychologists identify five of the most common signs that signal that you will end up getting divorced.
Perhaps this is the main sign: when you just live together because a habit has formed over the years. In other words, friendly communication with a mix of indifference. After all, you used to spend a lion’s share of your free time together, sharing your innermost feelings and supporting each other.
Now, you are only busy with your own worries. Do not make general plans for the future, do not dream of building a big house, buying a dog, and going on an unforgettable vacation. Instead, you have a mortgage, children, or financial dependence and the fear of an unknown future alone.
No couple can exist without quarrels. One way or another, two people in the same territory will collide. Suppose during conflicts you discuss possible solutions to the problem or confess your feelings and experiences to each other. In that case, your couple will probably live happily ever after.
In case both of you, at the beginning of the quarrel, understand that any compromise cannot be complete and simply refuse to continue or withdraw into yourself, be prepared for an early break in relations.
From unresolved problems, you get resentment, tension, and pain caused by misunderstanding why the partner fails to notice that something is bothering you. Hence – health problems, jittery nerves, lack of sex, and complete dislike for the partner.
The memories of how easy and romantic your relationship used to be are still fresh in your mind. The butterflies in your stomach and the hope for a “happy end” have already left your couple, and you are shuddering while waiting for the next scandal.
Sex has lost its appeal and is more like serving a sentence. The atmosphere in the house is burdensome. You are annoyed by literally every little thing in your partner, right down to how he eats or breathes. You want to stay longer at work, disappear with friends, or even satisfy your desires in someone else’s bed.
When you think about a possible breakup, you no longer feel fear. Do not worry if you can handle it alone. It seems as if you can no longer experience a single emotion as if everything bright and warm has been sucked out of you by a dementor.
The spouse’s worries no longer cause sympathy and desire to console or help. Everything burned out inside and only emptiness remained. This, unfortunately, is a direct path not only to divorce but also to a psychotherapist.
Many of us are prone to fantasies “What would my life be like if…” Usually, when you think about someone important to you, it’s scary to imagine that you could have never met this person. At the thought of the current partner, total indifference appears: “So what? It could have been someone else.” This marks the imminent beginning of the end.
The situations listed above arise from the inability of both partners to talk to each other, to say what is important for them, what is acceptable, and what is categorically not. Instead, they take it too personally and insult each other. Only such an approach will help the couple to find understanding again and develop steps that can correct the current unpleasant situation in the relationship. We advise you to be patient, and it will definitely come in handy.
Suppose you regularly avoid communication on topics that concern you, accumulate resentment against your partner and splash out the tension that has collected inside you. In that case, you will very quickly move on to the “living like neighbors” stage. The only way out of it is through a divorce. There will be nothing left to save.
Remember that everything is in our hands: relationships, career, friendship, health, life. We create our own destiny and choose how to live it and with whom. If the relationship with this or that person is really important to you, learn to convert your feelings into words. Talk and negotiate.
