The way America celebrates St. Patrick’s day continues to cause confusion, but you can’t avoid not wearing green. Fail to wear a shade of chartreuse and you’re bound to get at least one pestering bystander who hasn’t quite caught up to the fact that unsolicited pinches are not welcome. Surprise, surprise! Lucky for us, we actually love wearing green, a color that designers including Staud, Ralph Lauren, and Jacquemus lovingly embrace. So if Chad from accounting creeps toward with his grubby fingers ready to freak out HR, we provided a spectrum of chic outfits ranging from emerald to lime, with the matching phrase that appropriately tells them to piss off. After all, an olive green puffer jacket just screams “not in today’s climate!”
Cassette Intrecciato Bag
Bottega Veneta
matchesfashion.com
$2,480
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“Don’t talk to me or my Bottega Veneta ever again.”
Pleated Wide-Leg Pants
Madewell madewell.com
$85.00
“If you come near me I’ll take off my Birkenstocks.”
Winnifred Pants
Ralph Lauren modaoperandi.com
$890.00
Rustic Pants
“My look is inspired by Harry Styles and his song ‘Kiwi.’ Also, don’t touch me.”
The Cotton Quilted Jacket
Everlane everlane.com
$98.00
“This down jacket screams ‘Not in today’s climate!'”
Foxy Leather and Faux-Fur Coat
Saks Potts selfridges.com
£1,360.00
“Sorry I can’t hear you my coat is too loud.”
V-Neck Ruffle Blouse
Victoria Beckham victoriabeckham.com
$930.00
“Stop right there, thank you very much. I need somebody without a human touch.”
Madden Blazer
Staud staud.clothing
$300.00
7/8 Flex Leggings
Outdoor Voices outdoorvoices.com
$75.00
“I suddenly feel like running in the opposite direction.”
Recycled Tie-Dye Tee
Urban Renewal urbanoutfitters.com
$19.00
“I will tie-die if you come any closer”
Intarsia Jumper
Marc Jacobs x Magda Archer farfetch.com
$695.00
“My sweater literally says ‘stay away from toxic people.’ It’s not open to interpretation.”
Nike Jordan Flight Jumpsuit
Jordan nordstrom.com
$180.00
Justine Carreon
Justine Carreon is the market editor at ELLE.com covering fashion, Dutch ovens, and fashion again.