Sometimes the last chance to keep a relationship alive is to separate for a while. A timeout can, of course, end with a final break or move you to the next level of trust and understanding. It depends on how the partners negotiate the terms of this timeout. Here are the basic rules of a break in the relationship. They will help you understand yourself and make the right decision.
Find out why you need a timeout
Practice introspection to understand what you want to relax from. Do you feel that the relationship lacks passion? In life, there has come a new stage – moving to another place, getting another job – and you are not sure if you are ready to go on dating with this guy? It is important to realize whether your problem can be solved. If he is totally against children, and you dream of motherhood, there is no need for a break – it’s just time to part. Do not take a break to just postpone separation and spare the partner’s feelings. If you have decided to take a break, do it for yourself, not for him. If you feel that you are overloaded, confused and unable to think adequately, you may really need time to assess the situation.
Discuss the timeout in person
Since separation affects both of you, it’s better to discuss it in person. Exchanging messages or a telephone conversation make it difficult to read non-verbal signals. It will be easier to interpret his reaction and make sure that you understand each other if you talk face to face.
Discuss the timeout conditions
At the same time, be very clear and frank. Tell him why you need a timeout. Agree whether you will stay in touch or avoid communication completely. Most importantly, decide whether you will communicate with other guys and girls during this period and whether fidelity remains an important condition. Another serious point that should be discussed is how to treat a break if you live together. Common things or a pet will prevent you from truly relaxing from the relationship. Try to exclude all interdependencies during the timeout. The bigger the break, the easier it is for you to abstract from the situation and free yourself from its influence.
Do not set deadlines
This can be difficult because it is not clear how long the separation will last and when it will be over. But you do not know in advance how soon you will understand your feelings and what difficulties you will encounter. Time constraints will only lead to disappointment. The guy will reproach you that you are not ready to make a decision. You will begin to feel pressure and guilt for your own uncertainty. The only thing that is worth negotiating is that each of you will let the other partner know if anything changes. You will say everything when you make the final decision. He will do the same when he realizes that he is not ready to wait any longer and wants to separate.
Use the timeout to discover yourself
Do what you lacked most of all when you were a couple. Spend more time with family and friends, find a new hobby. Just stay alone because it is not always possible in a relationship. There is a difference between feeling uncomfortable without a specific person or simply feeling unhappy without a couple. A break in the relationship is a good time to feel it. Ask yourself if the fear of loneliness is a good reason to be with someone. If a break in the relationship has become a breath of freedom for you, it’s time to think whether it is worthwhile to be paired with someone. Since you’re happier alone, it’s time for a break.
