You’re an adult professional, not a child. If they didn’t want you there, you wouldn’t be there. Your colleagues have no reason to hold back or spare your feelings. And while it’s charming that you’re baking brownies every day, that is not a realistic way to ingratiate yourself. You don’t need them to love you. You need them to be good colleagues. If they like you, that’s an added bonus.
If you can, please do see a therapist to work through these anxieties, which are completely understandable but holding you back. You might also find a mentor who can help you regain your confidence. You don’t want to doubt yourself out of a good job. I wish you the very best in your new position.
Do the hard work (and then do more hard work)
Our Black and African-American community group at work have just met the 2nd time since its formation in September 2020. We were brainstorming ideas for celebrating MLK day as well as Black History Month.
We decided to 1) Post on firm’s Family Friday Digest newsletter “Happy Birthday to MLK”; 2) Encourage family members to use volunteer hours to give back to our communities; 3) Share stories about African-American accountants; 4) Put out something about the first Black accountant our firm hired.
Do you have anything in mind that you believe firms should do to ACTUALLY promote awareness and inclusion?
— Anonymous, Kansas City
You’re right to question how your ideas could actually create change. You simply acknowledge that Black people exist and some of them are accountants. It’s the bare minimum, however well intended. If you want to promote diversity, equity and inclusion, you need to do far more.
If you can, conduct a full, transparent salary audit to ensure pay equity across race, gender and other markers of difference. Or ask higher-ups at the company to do it if you can’t. Establish a scholarship program to encourage Black college students to study accounting. Look at your firm’s executive team. Are there any Black people in those roles? Have there ever been any? Are there Black people on your corporate board? What is your plan for creating parity? How are you doing with regard to people of other races, ethnicities and other identity markers?
If you want to create sustained change, do the hard work of self-examination, and then do the even harder work of addressing inequities. Foster a culture of awareness and inclusion year-round, not just the third Monday in January and the month of February.
Roxane Gay is the author, most recently, of “Hunger” and a contributing opinion writer. Write to her at workfriend@nytimes.com.
