This means setting aside time to have conversations about how much friendship you’re looking for — whether a mere running buddy or a BFF — while still allowing for the relationship to evolve. Talking about the Covid-19-related precautions you’re each taking can also make any in-person meet-ups more comfortable.
“I tend to overcommunicate, especially now,” said Amanda Zeilinger. In July, Ms. Zeilinger, 23, moved in Minnesota to St. Paul from Northfield to start a new job at a mosaic workshop in the Twin Cities. She had anticipated it might be harder to make friends in a new city amid shutdowns, but that hasn’t been the case: Recently, she formed a pod with two colleagues so they could foster their friendship outside of work. “I think people are so starved for human connection that we’re that much more open,” she said.
Go on a date — or two or three.
“One of the defining features of our friends is that they’re exclusive,” Dr. Franco said. That means you have shared memories and experiences. So if you met through work or school or a club, plan a one-on-one virtual teatime or socially distanced walk. “Repotting” friendships, or moving them from one setting to another — a term the digital strategist Ryan Hubbard uses — can also help them gain momentum.
Developing a new friendship is not dissimilar to entering a romantic relationship, and initial meet-ups with a new friend can feel “sort of like a first date,” said Jordan Bennett, 31, a communications professional who lives in New York City. “You have the same nerves.”
Several of Mr. Bennett’s close friends left New York last summer; this, combined with a natural tendency to be “very, very social,” led him to start exchanging messages with a new friend through Bumble BFF. They met for the first time in September, and though it was platonic, Mr. Bennett said, he was also unsure how this prospective friend might react upon learning he is gay. “You don’t know if someone is an ally, or how comfortable they are,” he said. The subject emerged organically, producing a comfortable conversation about relationships; they’ve since ventured out to bars, the gym and watched the vice-presidential debate together.
After a successful initial get-together, make plans to continue meeting up regularly. Several experts agreed that consistency strengthens bonds. “Ritual is really important when it comes to connection, especially friendship,” said Adam Smiley Poswolsky, the author of the forthcoming book “Friendship in the Age of Loneliness.” Attaching friendship to a shared goal — a regular yoga practice; keeping up with a TV show — can help reinforce the relationship and your new habit.
“Being intentional, being available, being reliable and being excited are all things that work in your favor,” Ms. Sow said.
