Maureen Dowd: You don’t pop Molly, you rock Tom Ford.
Tom Ford: (Laughs) Jay-Z’s song called “Tom Ford.” I had to go on a rap translator online to actually understand the lyrics. I always loved that disco song with the lyric “Halston, Gucci, Fiorucci.” I’m such a lucky person. It’s a wild thing seeing 60,000 people in a stadium chanting your name.
When you were in grade school, you carried a black attaché case instead of a book bag.
Confirm.
A few years back, you had both a butler and a fox terrier named Angus and a nanny and a fox terrier named India.
Confirm.
You shouldn’t design underwear if you don’t wear it.
I don’t wear dresses and I design those too. And it’s true, I don’t wear underwear.
You won’t design for Melania Trump.
I have said that, given Melania’s husband’s beliefs, she should be wearing “made in America.” I think my clothes would be too expensive for the president or the first lady—and they’re all made in Italy. I would also not have designed for Hillary. They shouldn’t be wearing clothes that the major part of America couldn’t relate to in terms of price.
You love slapstick.
Richard Buckley tried to teach me an appreciation of slapstick, but that is something I will never have. Once, we were leaving our apartment and I opened the door right into my head and it really hurt and he laughed and laughed. The quickest way to get Richard to laugh is to cut off your finger, trip and fall on your face or break something. He’s evil.
You have your own swans, a posse of attractive, wealthy women in Los Angeles.
I don’t think of them as swans, no, because swans can bite. And Truman Capote found that out.
There are 20 shades of black.
Confirm. At least.
Men should never wear shorts unless they’re three feet from the pool.
Confirm. Or unless they’re on the tennis court.
Never use the word “awesome,” even when something is awesome.
Confirm. Do not use the word “awesome.”
In New Mexico, you’ve shot 50 rattlesnakes.
Yeah, I usually kill about four or five every summer.
You think champagne breath is the worst.
I hate champagne breath. Confirm. It’s like vomit. It is! White wine and champagne give you terrible breath. It’s like bulimic breath.
You think famous parents let their kids be photographed too much.
Confirm. Absolutely. You will not find a picture of Jack anywhere.
You are no longer bothered by thumbprints on stainless steel.
Deny. I am bothered by thumbprints on stainless steel.
You now refuse to design wedding dresses.
Confirm, because every girl has an idea of their wedding and what they want to wear is in their head and so essentially they don’t need a designer. They just need a dressmaker. And it’s very hard to design a wedding dress because it’s more like, “Well, no, I always wanted to look like Grace Kelly,” so there’s not a lot of creativity to it. It’s not fun as a designer.
Red-carpet fashion is boring.
Confirm. You get stylists calling you, saying, “She only wants to wear yellow, she wants strapless.” People don’t wear fashion, really; they wear a kind of vintage. The one time I thought they all looked great was last year at the Golden Globes when they all wore black.
You like to watch medical procedures.
Once, a Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon took me in to see a breast augmentation. It’s fascinating because it’s very sculptural. As in my business, it’s about where you hide the seams and what shape you create.
Derek Blasberg is the new Andy Warhol.
No. Derek Blasberg is the new Truman Capote.
The Kushners are the new Kennedys.
Oh my God, deny!
In private, you dress normcore.
Deny.
You spent more money on Goop last year than on Amazon.
Deny.
Studio 54 was overrated.
Deny.
Nobody ever lives happily ever after.
True, confirm.
There’s only been one actual Anna Wintour smile on record, and that was Tom Ford in 2001.
(Laughs) Deny.
There’s not an hour that goes by in which you do not think about death.
Confirm. I think about it more than every hour. It’s constant.
You still take three baths a day.
At least two. Why do anything standing up that you can do lying down?
You have a subscription to Stitch Fix.
Deny.
Men are going to get into skirts.
I think the last time it looked good was Rome. Although a kilt can still do it for me. But it has to be a real kilt and you have to be Scottish.
Men are going to get into makeup.
I don’t think there’s a stigma attached to it anymore. In fact, I think people know the sun is bad for you so they just put on some bronzer. Just yesterday, I approved a cushion compact for Korea and Japan targeted specifically for men. But I do live in this bubble of New York and L.A. where there are a lot of performers.
When photographed, you favor the right side of your face with a three-quarter turn.
The left side is like the dark side of the moon. I don’t think anyone’s ever seen it.
Elizabeth Holmes ruined black turtlenecks for everyone.
Deny.
