It is clear that we are all imperfect and absolutely any person had to experience a painful separation or an exhausting divorce at least once in a lifetime. No psychologist will give you an exact action plan to make this process less stressful and exhausting. Womedialogue.com will tell you what mistakes should be avoided not to turn your life into a nightmare after the end of the relationship!
Being a bad girl (especially with his best friend)
Even if you really want to take revenge on the ex-partner (in most cases, this is the first thought that a lady has after breaking up), try to control yourself and do not commit the actions that you will later regret. For example, you should not turn a romance into revenge, choosing for this purpose your ex-partner’s best friend.
Perhaps he is really trying to support you in such a difficult situation, but you should not take these signs of attention as a guide to action. Imagine what will happen when your affair is over? Are you ready for the fact that you will lose the support of this person (communication with him) or for the fact that they will discuss your bad behavior with your ex-boyfriend?
Torture yourself with the thoughts what would happen, if you behaved otherwise
According to experts, the biggest mistake most women make is to blame themselves for having terminated the relationship. For some reason, many ladies are sure that they themselves are to blame for everything and if they had behaved differently (looked different, reacted differently and so on), everything would have been more optimistic. This is totally wrong!
Both people are usually to blame for the breakup because if you and your partner had reacted to the problems in time, everything could have turned out differently, indeed. Relations are a team work, otherwise they fade away regardless of whether you take all the blame for such an outcome or put the burden of responsibility on your boyfriend.
Look through your joint photos regularly and re-visit your places
If you didn’t have enough drama while parting and you want to enhance this effect, you can, of course, look through your joint photographs and take a tour of the places you loved to visit with your partner. Just do not get surprised when your mood suddenly gets worse and when more depressive thoughts appear. Why torment yourself with memories once again?
It will be enough to carefully remove the pictures from the shelf and get them out only when you are ready to accept the fact that you really have let the person go, but are grateful to him for the period of time that you spent together.
Pretending to be a drama queen
Another unsuccessful scenario after the breakup is to pretend to be a drama queen, ready to start a scandal out of the blue and arrange a real theatrical performance. If you suddenly decide that being melodramatic suits you, just think about how you look from the side at this moment.
Psychologists claim that excessive exaggeration, excessive emotionality or sentimentality have not benefited anyone. Moreover, the surrounding people may think that you have obvious mental issues and will avoid communicating with you. Nothing good will come of it. You will not only lose your surroundings, but also earn a reputation of an inadequate person.
Follow his life on social networks, write messages or call
Why should you cause pain to your soul and keep track of what changes are happening to your former boyfriend? Thus, you will hurt yourself once again (especially if your ex-partner has already found a new beloved, and you are still suffering alone). This does not mean that you need to forget about all the men you have separated with, but you should not constantly check if he was online or not, what photos and posts he shared, what events he is going to attend, which girls he liked etc.
This really looks like masochism rather than a civilized separation. Allow yourself and him to be happy, give yourself a little time to be sad, “relive” your love story in your head and enjoy your freedom afterwards.
To have intimate meetings even after breaking up
Any expert will tell you that having sex with your ex-boyfriend is not a good idea. Maybe it is not even that immoral. The point is that sooner or later you will want to start all over again. “So why not give each other a second chance?”, you will ask.
Euphoria will be over and you will once again experience the same problems that served as the reason for your separation. Having experienced disappointment once again, you will find yourself at a loss. So why not put an end to the relationship right away, as soon as you both realized that you can no longer be together.
Chat about him on every corner
Of course, the man who dared to leave you is not ideal, but do not shout about it at every corner. Even if you really have a low opinion of a person, try to resist insulting him in public and voicing endless reproaches. After all, by doing this, you are harming your own reputation. Since you once made a choice in his favor, you used to put up with all his shortcomings, right?
Arrange “random” meetings
Surely you do not just want to be noticed by your ex-boyfriend. You want him to once again wonder what clever and beautiful girl he has lost. But even if you were the initiator of the divorce, you still may want to see the man with whom you “spent the best years of your life”. Yet psychologists recommend to reduce the number of meetings in order to fully realize that the relationship has ended and everyone goes his own way now.
Therefore, if you suddenly come up with an idea to return his gift, which you supposedly forgot about, dine at the restaurant frequently visited by your ex-boyfriend, or drink a glass of wine in the company of a new boyfriend in the bar where you are sure to come across your ex-partner, think about whether you really want to hurt the person with whom you had nothing more than just sex.
Show mercy and try to let go of the past. You will feel better, you’ll see!
