Psychologists warn that you can very quickly cross the line between “I” and “we”, get dissolved in a relationship completely and forget about your own ambitions, dreams and desires. “What’s wrong with that?” you may ask. Unfortunately, most of these stories end in tears – at some point, a man just gets bored with such a lady and begins to look around in search of a more attractive person (internally rather than externally). Geniusbeauty.com will tell you how to understand that you have become almost a shadow of your gentleman and what this can lead to.
“OK, maybe I will join you today. But first, I’ll ask my partner”
Perhaps someone will argue that “asking if you can go out” is not a sign that you have dissolved in your partner. It may seem to be plain concern. In other words, you reassure yourself that you are doing this for your man to know where to look for you in case of any unforeseen circumstances. Or maybe you think that this is a sign of good taste – to inform the loved ones about your plans.
Psychologists have a different opinion. Why do you need such a relationship when you have to “ask for going out” and coordinate each step with the partner? It is a matter of trust – either you trust each other and see nothing wrong in your partner’s meeting with friends or attending an event without you or even going on vacation alone; or you are looking for reasons to limit the freedom of the soulmate.
“Yesterday we went to the movies, today we will rest at home, and tomorrow we are meeting with his friends”
As soon as you begin to say “we” instead of “I” and do what your partner likes instead of your plans, you will lose your personality and begin to live the life of your partner. After all, perhaps you didn’t really want to watch this film or spend the weekend with his friends because in the end you have your own friends, but you make the same mistakes over and over again. And now you are ceasing to be a personality for your friends and relatives. Instead, you turn into someone with the same views, thoughts and desires.
At the very beginning of the relationship, this may seem nice, but over time you cease to be noticed and taken into consideration. What for? After all, everyone has long understood that you will act as your partner decides.
“He doesn’t want me to pursue a career, so my diploma is just getting dusty on a shelf”
As soon as you forget about your ambitions and desires, you immediately turn into a sort of useless satellite to your man, ceasing to inspire him to new exploits. What for? After all, he already feels his superiority – you are sitting at home and taking care of children, and he is developing in the desired field. He has no competitive spirit or desire to challenge the impossible and achieve something bigger. You stop motivating him for new feats and, as a result, become uninteresting to him.
To prevent this from happening, decide with your partner that you have certain goals to achieve. Psychologists remind you that if a man appreciates and loves you, he will help you implement your plans, will be proud of your achievements and will try to do everything for you to reach a new level.
“Even though I don’t get enough sleep, I’ll cook a delicious breakfast for him”
Psychologists say that as soon as you start to please a man (for example, you wake up early to cook a delicious breakfast, despite feeling unwell or having urgent things to do), your attractiveness will immediately go down to zero and the man will begin to look for a more suitable option.
Be a kind of obstinate woman who won’t be checking every minute whether everything is fine with her man and if he needs anything. On the contrary, she will build relationships in such a way that this man will fulfill all her whims, trying to win her favor and the opportunity to stay beside her.
“I will not overload him with household chores because he works so much”
Even if you work no less than your man, you still protect him from household chores for some reason, believing that he already gets tired during the day. You pretend it costs you nothing to do all the domestic chores, take care of raising the children, plan your upcoming vacation, deal with the annoying relatives, think about a menu for the week, purchase a lot of products etc. And while you are tiptoeing around your tired man, giving him the opportunity to relax once more, he will generally cease to respect you and will take your care for granted.
Therefore, do not be surprised if over time you hear a disgruntled remark about your daring to spend an hour of time on your appearance instead of continuing to fulfill all his whims.
“I will wait for his call / visit at any time, day or night”
Too affordable women who are waiting for their boyfriend day and night eventually lose their attractiveness, which, in turn, leads to a breakdown in the relations. Even if you miss him very much and are ready to support your beloved man 24 hours a day, you should not demonstrate this so clearly. Otherwise, the gentleman will decide that since he has already subdued you, he can focus on someone new. Believe it, as soon as he notices a suitable candidate, you will be dismissed immediately.
To prevent this from happening, set your boundaries immediately, and at the same time make it clear that you are not a rescue service and you are not welcoming his complaints and lamentations. It is unacceptable if your gentleman suddenly begins to come to you intoxicated just because he knows that you will accept him in absolutely any condition.
