The most unloved stage in a relationship is getting to know the guy’s environment. You seem to just get used to it when suddenly you meet the people who should not have anything to do with your man. If all of his friends cause negative emotions, it’s worth thinking about whether you really know this guy well.
Girls often explain the shortcomings of their man with someone’s bad influence. Yet, since he chose these guys, it means that they have something in common. The most difficult thing in dealing with his friends is that you should not interfere in their communication and you cannot completely ignore these people because they are part of his life. Here are some tips about what to do if your boyfriend’s friends are the worst thing that has happened to you.
Try to find common ground
If your boyfriend’s friends only exchange dirty jokes during the first meeting, talk about cars and say that all women are stupid, the last thought that comes to your mind is to see them again. Before you give up, try to get to know these people better and find something in common. Even if it seems that you have nothing to talk about, try to listen more and ask questions about their interests. Perhaps in time, you will be able to see what your boyfriend sees in these guys and will make friends with them.
Honestly tell your man what you feel
Sooner or later, the partner will notice the expression of light disgust that appears on your face at the mention of a meeting with his friends. When he asks what happened, it’s better to be honest, but tactful. Do not forget that these people are dear to him somehow. Tell him what exactly embarrasses you in his surroundings. This will help a man better understand your reaction. Try not to complain or accuse them, talk about how you feel.
Spend time with them only when it’s necessary
Sometimes the best strategy is to avoid contact with unpleasant people. Do not figure out why they are like that, how to fix it and who is to blame, but just try to minimize your communication. Of course, there will be moments in the life of your boyfriend that will require the presence of all close people: his birthday or even your wedding. Take it for granted because his friends are almost like relatives, so compromises are inevitable. But you do not have to hang out with them every Friday – both your nervous system and your relationship will benefit from this.
Remember that you must also rest separately
In a good relationship, there should always be a slight taste of freedom and permissiveness. Unpleasant friends are another incentive to give a guy the opportunity to spend time without you and not to feel sorry. His environment does not have to be yours, it’s only part of life, though an important one. Everything that is required of you is to politely see them out at the threshold and mentally send them to hell.
The dislike for a person can be so strong that you may have a desire to force your man to choose between you and his friends. Do not do this! Involve all your wisdom because the stakes are too high in this game. Even if this does not destroy your relationship, he will always blame you for losing friends. Try not to force him to make a choice, even in specific situations: like going to the cinema with you or going to a drift competition with his friends. Look for compromises, otherwise, he will feel constant pressure from both sides.
You have the right to demand respect for yourself
If it’s about these toxic people that make you feel insecure or offended, you should not tolerate it even with your boyfriend’s friends. Let the partner understand that you no longer want to approach this person. It’s up to him to decide whether to continue his friendship with someone who does not respect his girlfriend. But you should not put him under pressure and demand explanations. Trying to build a relationship with your boyfriend’s environment, think not only about his happiness, but also about his health. With some of his friends, you will never find a common language, it’s normal and does not hurt your relationship in any way.