Hannah Bronfman and her husband, Brendan Fallis, both New York-based event D.J.s, have watched most of their live gigs dry up because of the coronavirus outbreak. But they’re still keeping busy.
The couple, who celebrated their third wedding anniversary on May 20, have been out at their two-acre Amagansett, N.Y., home since mid-March, gardening, building a fire pit, an outdoor shower, and even a yurt, among their many domestic chores.
They normally rent out the house for the summer, but because their newly purchased Manhattan apartment is still under construction, this is their only home right now. Three good friends also tagged along to create a sort of quarantine commune.
“It’s a weird relief in a lot of ways because our lifestyle in general is just very hectic,” said Ms. Bronfman, 32, noting that both are typically traveling separately about three times a week. She continues to run HBFIT, a wellness website that’s an extension of her recent health and beauty book, “Do What Feels Good,” and maintains a large social media following.
“I don’t think I’ve ever spent this much time at home in my 15 years of having a career,” said Ms. Bronfman, a daughter of Edgar Bronfman Jr., the former chief executive of Warner Music and Seagram. “It’s really quite nice, but it’s also tested our limits.”
With mandates against large social gatherings, the couple has seen how the pandemic has hurt the events industry. Mr. Fallis, 40, is the founder of Preveyor, a New York-based entertainment management company with more than 20 event D.J.s on the roster. Both have done virtual D.J. gigs, including one for charity, and a set during the Memorial Day festivities for Surf Lodge, a hotel in Montauk, N.Y.
In the past few weeks, the couple has felt the energy shift at home because of the amplification of the Black Lives Matter movement. For Mr. Fallis, it’s been a realization that even he, half of an interracial couple, has more to learn.
“There are many things I didn’t understand before and was afraid to ask or talk about,” he said. “I always knew Hannah was a strong, confident, loving woman, but I’ve now seen another side of her and my love and admiration has grown fonder.”
They are also speaking out publicly, by educating friends and family directly and sharing on social media. Ms. Bronfman has posted several times on Instagram about microaggressions she has experienced, like being called a derogatory term by her best friend at the age of 12. They have also openly donated to major organizations, including the A.C.L.U. and N.A.A.C.P., and used their platforms to inspire followers to join them in emailing politicians demanding justice and reform, such as a bill to repeal 50-A in New York.
Ms. Bronfman also hosted a virtual yoga class with Kyle Miller, an associate professor of architecture at Syracuse University, to raise money for the families of recent victims of police brutality. “We all must mobilize and do our parts in the different ways that we can,” Ms. Bronfman said. “I hear Brendan on the phone, and I feel so lucky to have such a vocal ally as my partner.”
The couple, who have spent most of their quarantine with their close friends, where they cook together daily, share chores, yard work, and take evening dips in the hot tub, has also seen this time as an opportunity to strengthen their relationship. Here’s how they’ve been keeping their relationship intact.
Setting Boundaries
The shelter-in-place experience has forced them to work on their communication and patience. No matter how strong a foundation a couple has, spending this much time together can test their tolerance, Ms. Bronfman said. For her, the key has been to create boundaries. Each morning, the couple meditates or works out together then settles down for work. Everyone in the house has a station in a separate room as if they are in a co-working space. They even eat lunch at their own pace, and only reconvene in the late afternoon and evening for activities like cocktails, wine and dinner. They don’t feel the need to be together 24/7, even if they are in the same house.
Spending Time Alone
They each found daily activities that don’t involve the other for a creative outlet. Ms. Bronfman puts on her chef hat and makes a group lunch daily. A crowd favorite is her Asian-inspired chicken salad (the recipe is on her Instagram account) as well as a make-your-own bowl lunch with a variety of ingredients she finds in the refrigerator and pantry. The group has been ordering from restaurant suppliers and local farmers and creating menus from whatever they get. She also started to compost food waste. Mr. Fallis has taken to manual labor in the yard with a ’70s rock playlist around 3 p.m. everyday. The projects began with a small cleanup around the grounds but quickly grew to full-blown additions. He built a fire pit as a place to hang out in the evening with a cocktail in hand — preferably a mezcal negroni — and an outdoor shower. “It’s more directly rewarding than emails,” he said.
Collaborating Creatively
Not all of Mr. Fallis’s outdoor projects are a solo endeavor. He and Ms. Bronfman planted a garden together, complete with herbs, including rosemary, thyme, and cilantro, as well as strawberries, carrots and kale. Their most recent addition to the property is a yurt that the couple decked out with a bed, rug and two chairs. Soon they will add a wood-burning stove. “The yard is really our favorite thing,” Mr. Fallis said. There is also no shortage of good music on the playlist. The couple feels that this time away from the D.J. booth has stimulated creativity in a new way. Without a client who has specified a certain genre or an audience with requests, they have free rein on what to play. Asking D.J.s for their favorite song is like asking bartenders their top drink, but Ms. Bronfman did share that she is “really into Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion” at the moment.
Surprising and Delighting Each Other
There is pressure on relationships when you spend so much time together, said Mr. Fallis, who has tried to find ways to surprise and delight his wife. Amid the emotions of the pandemic and dealing with the life-altering changes to daily life, it can be easy to forget why you are partners. “Remind yourself of why you love someone,” he said. “Raise a little cheer by going out of your way to make them feel good or make them happy.” This can be as simple as leaving a note on the bedside table or picking up an extra chore. It can also extend to your quarantine crew: For the couple’s anniversary, their housemates surprised them with a Moroccan chicken dinner and harissa-spiced cauliflower, a nod to their nuptials in Marrakesh, plus plenty of champagne to celebrate, outside.
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