Having a man in the house is very convenient. He can kill terrible insects, remove webs from the ceiling or take a 20-liter bottle of water to the seventh floor. If you plan to have a man in your apartment or move into his flat, be ready to learn a lot of new things about yourself and your boyfriend. Here are some tips that will help to move in together with a partner without spoiling the relationship.
Start with a trial period
The biggest misconception is to think that you know a person well, even though you have not lived together. People are often too absorbed in the idea of living together, so they never think they may not be ready for it. You spend the night in each other’s apartment every weekend, spend all the evenings together – isn’t it family life? No, it’s not. The difference between “seeing often” and “seeing all the time” is as big as between the first date and the 30th anniversary.
Start with a test drive. Do not rush to move your things, but spend a couple of weeks without interruption on someone’s territory or on a journey. Try to be natural and talk about your needs openly. When you have already transported the suitcases to his apartment, it seems stupid to retreat. Such a test will help you to understand whether it’s time for you to move on to the next stage and will not burden you with unnecessary obligations.
Divide the territory
When you spend a lot of time with someone, the most insignificant things become a reason for argument. If you do not have your own mansion with five rooms, but live in a small apartment in a big city, be ready to fight with your partner for every square meter.
Discuss practical solutions for comfortable storage of things. Is he ready to give up the biggest part of his wardrobe, do you need additional boxes and shelves, is it worth renting a separate apartment where all your shoes will fit? The more problems you discuss in advance, the more relaxed cohabitation will be.
Discuss your habits
Everyone has a list of small life rules. You do not realize them until an intruder appears on your territory. It’s hard for you to understand how one can finish dinner and not wash their dishes. Your boyfriend has always lived with his mother and believes that crumbs are removed from the table by themselves. It takes some time to explain to him that there are no miracles – and there is no housemaid in your apartment.
Make a general list of rules of residence and write it on a sheet. The idea seems a bit childish, but it can make it easier for you during the first stage. Few people create confusion or inconvenience to spite the neighbor because habits are all unconscious things. To change or adjust a habit, one needs a constant reminder. It’s better to have it in the form of written rules than your irritated hissing.
Create a budget for living expenses
Living together does not necessarily involve the merging of budgets. Everyone has the right to decide how to spend money, but now you have common obligations, such as the rent, food and other household trivia. Create a fund for total costs and discuss a monthly or weekly budget. It is not necessary to divide all expenses in half. There is nothing wrong about the man earning more and being able to afford to pay the rent. However, this does not eliminate joint planning. Although formally you are not a family yet, you will have to face the main financial problems in the relationship.
Make sure that each of you has personal space
To understand the importance of personal space, you may need to live in a studio apartment together with your man. What you have is one room and a joint bathroom. When you have no place to even talk on the phone, cohabitation loses all romance. After quarreling, the tension in the apartment is so high that it may cause instability in the power line!
Very often, there will be no opportunity to run out at night and walk along the streets at a critical moment. Even a tiny kitchen will seem like a good refuge from such dramas. Think three times before deciding to experiment with the studio. Give each other the right for personal space, even the smallest one.
Spend time separately. When you do not just meet, but live together, freedom in the relationship is especially important. If one of you is not ready to live together, this does not mean breaking the relationship. Maybe it takes a little more time. The main advice for those thinking of moving in together is not to rush. There are a lot of other ways to annoy each other.
