Phone snubbing is a social phenomenon which is spreading so that many feel there must be a special word for it. The obvious choice is “phubbing” (Millennials will be long remembered for coining new words like “bae” or “fomo”) as an instantly recognized hybrid word. To cross the t’s it means that somebody pays more attention to their phone than to the person they are currently with.
Nowadays there doesn‘t seem to be a single person who escaped this sort of treatment – when you settle down to have a meaningful conversation and sort out issues (or simply to enjoy a good dinner) – and your partner keeps getting glued to the phone display as if their brain were removed and placed in the gadget.
Probably you have also been guilty of the misdemeanor a few times and at the time failed to realize the injustice of your behavior. While an outsider may swallow such an attitude, with your significant other it is certain to lead to an altercation and bad aftertaste.
This is probably very understandable – aren’t we all addicted to our smartphones to the extent of losing ourselves in them, partly because we have already acquired the habit of conducting our social life through phones. The temptation of connecting instantly to your friends and to current news, of being able to take a break from the daily monotony into the ever-changing world outside, is too strong. Given the least chance we look for smartphone distractions.
Small wonder, then, that the real life appears as horribly dull. Communication is now strongly associated with texts and comments on social profiles. There may be people who grew accustomed to it so much that they might feel out of joint when they have to connect with people face to face.
Unfortunately, such modernization of our communicative abilities is now often accused of ruining relationships. Psychotherapists warn that spending time checking your Twitter and social network profiles could be regarded as emotional infidelity. It may sound as playing things up, yet this constant attention withdrawal is a sure way to undermine your relationship. The buzzes you react to involuntarily blow up your concentration – even on things that are important for you.
One of the things your buzzing smartphone can ruin is your sex life. Imagine hot activity between the sheets constantly interrupted by your vibrant gadget. Or the pleasant emotional prelude to the act, for that matter. You will surely want your joy unadulterated! Hopefully we still prefer body pleasures to being engrossed in Twitter.
Certainly while fixing our gazes on the display we miss all social cues coming from the people around us. It is especially bad when we are with our partner, cutting in on moments of intimate interexchange. And if the habit grew so that we snatch at the gadget as soon as we open our eyes in the morning and the last minute before falling asleep, we miss out on “pillow talk” and begin to lose intimacy with the person we share our bed with.
But why, oh why do we allow ourselves to drift away from those who are near and dear? Psychologists say phubbing can be the manifestation of insecurity and poor self-esteem. People turn to their phones because they fear to face unexpected uncomfortable situations with their partner or people they socialize with. But actually this behavior puts a strain on relationships and begets resentment.
Also we have to take into consideration that modern individual grew to depend on technology in all spheres so it is natural for us to use devices. They help us forget about real life and the whole world, so that if we feel dispirited, misused we habitually turn to electronic devices for a kind of consolation.
Those who will decide to stifle the habit of scrolling down their notifications will have to make a conscious effort to achieve it (the same as with controlling eating habits or meditating). Then, ponder on your priorities. Remind yourself that you need to revise your priorities – when you are discussing issues with somebody else or share some time together, by paying attention to your texts and notifications you show that you are not concerned with them very much.
It would be a good idea to prepare for an important meeting and/or conversation by telling the other person that you are going to switch off your smartphone or put it away somewhere where it won’t be distracting you. Maybe you will be reciprocated and you both will be able to delight in quality socializing.
By turning off your phone you may become a better concentrated person who tackles problems and deals with matters straightaway without interruptions. Your social sites make you forget about your life goals, the people around you and having good time. It’s worth trying to overcome the clinging habit.
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