Jessica Muscio and Doug Davis took a less traditional route to marriage.
First came attraction and friendship — and then came love, children and a house. In between were a few breakups.
“I wasn’t ready to be vulnerable,” said Mr. Davis, an entertainment and music lawyer who is a son of the venerable music executive Clive Davis. “I wasn’t prepared for the emotional risk of putting it all on the line for her. At the time I didn’t realize I was sabotaging the relationship, but in retrospect I was.”
Their wedding would be a long time coming.
The couple met in the summer of 2010, when each was attending a multigenerational alumni mixer for graduates of their high school, the Dwight School, on Manhattan’s Upper West Side.
Mr. Davis, 47, graduated in 1990, and Ms. Muscio, 33, in 2004. Though the 14-year age gap kept them from knowing each other back then, the reunion brought them together.
Mr. Davis noticed Ms. Muscio first. “Jessie was talking to a friend so I used him as an involuntary wingman,” he said. “Then I introduced myself.”
They spoke for a few minutes. Mr. Davis ended the conversation by asking Ms. Muscio to friend him on Facebook. A week later she did.
A year went by. When Facebook alerted them about their one-year friend anniversary in 2011, it was the nudge they needed to reconnect. They began texting each other and soon met for dinner at ABC Kitchen, near Union Square and a block from where Ms. Muscio lived with her parents.
“I thought it was a date,” Mr. Davis said. “There was too much chemistry and she was dressed too nicely for it not to be a date.”
Ms. Muscio, a clothing stylist, saw it as a networking opportunity. “I’m not sure why he thought it was a date,” she said, though she could sense he was interested in her romantically. “I was into him as a person, but we were at different stages in life.”
There were more casual dates, but no romance. A friendship grew between the two.
In 2012, when Whitney Houston died, Ms. Muscio wrote Mr. Davis a note of condolence. Ms. Houston was a client and friend of his father.
“The letter was incredible,” Mr. Davis said. “There was a depth of warmth, understanding and loss. It stood out. She stood out. I could tell she was special.”
Ms. Muscio had also begun to develop feelings. “I found myself thinking of him and wanted to share things with him,” she said. “When I closed on my apartment, he was the first person I posted a photo of the keys to.”
She had also told him about her mother’s neurological health, which was deteriorating.
In June 2012, Mr. Davis took Ms. Muscio to the River Café in Brooklyn Bridge Park for her birthday. The evening went well. More serious dates followed, and by the fall they were a couple.
“I loved him, but it was unlike any kind of love I’d experienced,” she said. “He made me feel safe and gave me wisdom in the places where I was looking for answers.”
But their differences posed a few problems. Mr. Davis, the founder of the Davis Firm, was established in the entertainment industry. Ms. Muscio was still finding her way professionally. He was a longtime bachelor and she was just owning her independence. He was conservative and serious; she was a free spirit and spontaneous. Then there was the age difference. It was a lot to juggle. In June 2013 they broke up for six weeks.
“The fight was about how we would live our lives,” Ms. Muscio said. “He wasn’t living a parallel life to me. We needed to figure out how we would teach each other and grow up together.”
Mr. Davis saw the breakup as positive. “It gave us a breather, it showed us we wanted to make it work and to overcome the obstacles,” he said.
They reunited but broke up again — this time for four months at the start of 2014. “Doug became distant,” Ms. Muscio said. “He sabotaged our relationship and pushed me to end it. He seemed not to have his heart in it. I missed him deeply, but I had to figure out how to be O.K. without him.”
Mr. Davis seemed to have regrets about the breakup. “Not being with her made me feel raw and exposed. I realized I needed to do whatever it took to never feel this way without her.”
He also knew how precious life was. He learned in 2007 that he had a carcinoid tumor, a type of slow-growing cancer, and underwent eight months of treatment.
“The cancer had already spread to one of my lymph glands — it was dumb luck that they found it,” Mr. Davis said. “If they hadn’t, I would have died. Once you’ve had an awakening and realize life is short, it makes you cherish things, like love. I wasn’t going to lose the greatest love I ever had.”
One of Mr. Davis’s best friends, Larry Jackson, a creative director for Apple music, helped set them on track again. He took Mr. Davis to the Soho House, a private social club in the Meatpacking District, with a hunch that Ms. Muscio, a recent member, would be there. (Mr. Davis was a founding member.) After securing a table, he told his friend he needed to use the restroom. Instead he searched for Ms. Muscio, whom he found seconds later at a table with friends. He took her by the hand, sat her down at his table and urged the pair to talk.
“At first Doug got up, but I told him to sit back down, which he did,” said Mr. Jackson, who played mediator for more than an hour. “Sometimes when people are on opposite sides of the field, they need people to bring them back together in a harmonious way. I knew they were supposed to be together.”
The meeting, Mr. Jackson said, “rekindled what never should have been extinguished.”
Two weeks later Mr. Davis dropped off a birthday gift with Ms. Muscio’s doorman. “I was disappointed he didn’t give it to me himself,” she said. “When I called to thank him, he said he wanted to see me.”
That night they had dinner. “In re-establishing our relationship, Doug felt different,” she said. “Things were not just on his terms; it was more about a partnership. It wasn’t where do I fit into his life, but how he was going to fit into mine. I trusted him in a new way.”
Once back together things moved quickly. In September 2014, Ms. Muscio announced she was pregnant. A wedding, though, would wait.
“Jessie’s mom has multiple system atrophy and was not well, and his parents are in their 80s,” Mr. Davis said. “Having a family was more important to us than putting together a wedding.”
Ms. Muscio agreed that family and roots were more important. “Having a wedding felt like a distraction from where we wanted to be as a couple,” she said.
In November 2014, she moved into Mr. Davis’s three-bedroom Madison Square Park apartment, and in December they bought a Chelsea townhouse built for Clement Clarke Moore, the author of the poem “’Twas the Night Before Christmas.”
He proposed soon after and five months later, in May 2015, their first child, Billie Hazel, was born. But the move to their new place was delayed as unexpected issues came up with the house, including mold.
Two years later, Cody Jade arrived, though work at the townhouse was still ongoing. Finally, in July 2018, the family of four moved into the house and a wedding was planned. “We were finally all in a place where a wedding felt right,” Ms. Muscio said.
On Sept. 7, 2019, the couple, their two children and their wedding party walked through the General Theological Seminary park in Chelsea, which leads into the back of the High Line Hotel, where the ceremony took place.
Guests included the groom’s parents, Janet Davis and Clive Davis, along with his siblings Fred Davis, Lauren Davis and Mitch Davis. Several musicians and artists were also in attendance, among them: Swizz Beatz, Lil Jon, Kandi Burruss, Mr. Brainwash, Todd Tucker, and Marjorie Gubelmann a.k.a. DJ Mad Marj. And there were music industry executives, including Ron Perry of Columbia Records, Monte Lipman of Republic Records, and Andrew Berkowitz of Warner Records.
While the couple signed a ketubah, guests collected on the back patio of the hotel before entering the events space, Hoffman Hall, and walked up to the third floor where the ceremony and dinner were held.
Mr. Davis walked himself down the aisle to “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles. His parents and siblings followed; then came the attendants; the bride and her father, Edward Muscio; and finally the couple’s children who tossed red petals from white baskets and stood beside their parents under a huppah.
The bride’s mother, Judith Muscio, watched her daughter marry from the first row.
“Something transformative happens when you exchange your vows in front of people,” said the officiant, Rabbi Angela Buchdahl. “Biblical wisdom says there is a time and a season for everything and those times and seasons are not going to be the same for every person or couple.”
For the bride and groom, it was nine years after meeting.
“It’s a wedding, but our vows are to each other, and to our children,” Ms. Muscio said. “It’s also celebrating life and what we built over the past five years.”
After the seven blessings were given, vows, rings and promises to each other had been exchanged, guests headed for the reception. The couple entered the room as husband and wife and then danced to “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone.
“This is a wonderful, happy, emotional experience,” Clive Davis said. “I view them as a committed family. There’s no prescribed way to do things. It’s whatever works for them.”
The groom, after all the twists and turns of their eventful journey together, had nothing but smiles as he looked toward the bride.
“I get to call her my wife without a slight, awkward pause to compose myself as to what she is,” he said after the ceremony. “That’s freeing and fills me with pride.”
On This Day
When Sept. 7, 2019
Where The High Line Hotel, New York
Wedding Invitations “We created something to let guests know this wedding would be different from the traditional wedding,” Mr. Davis said. “The invite is a New York City map telling the story of us, highlighting 18 of the important moments of the Davis family.” Spots included Mount Sinai Hospital, where the children were born, and ABC Kitchen, where the couple had their first date.
Dedicating Every Day “Dear Theodosia,” a song from the Broadway musical “Hamilton” was played for the Davises’ children. “They’re the reason this ceremony is so meaningful,” the bride said. “We wanted them to know they’re not spectators, this wedding is for all of us.”
Romancing the Rap Members of Freestyle Love Supreme, an improv, freestyle hip-hop review, performed spontaneous raps that involved the couple’s participation. The group was created 15 years ago by Thomas Kail, Lin-Manuel Miranda and Anthony Veneziale, and its self-titled show recently opened at the Booth Theater on Broadway. Guests called out words relevant to the couple’s love story and personality, which were then incorporated into songs.
And More Rap After the cutting of the cake, the crowd was treated to a surprise when Lil Jon took the microphone and rapped “Turn Down for What,” alongside the DJ Mad Marj.
