Very important: this article is not for those strong and decisive women who are used to solving all their problems on their own. It is not for those who doubt the ethical aspect of marriages of convenience. Not for feminists. And not even for the girls who believe that love is a fatal attraction, while marriages are made in heaven. This is an article for ordinary girls who just want to get married. In fact, there is nothing bad about this desire. And nothing complicated in it. Clear step-by-step instructions and the analysis of typical errors at each stage are offered by Geniusbeauty.com.
Acquaintance
If you are not going to get married, but just want to gain experience in a relationship or live with pleasure a certain (or indefinite) period of your life, you can get acquainted and date someone you like. But remember that many young men do not intend to marry anyone at all (or at least during the nearest 10 years).
If you are planning a marriage, there are men who should be avoided. Pay attention to the following negative markers:
- A bright sports car. This guy intends to keep producing a wow effect on all the girls in the world, and not just on you.
- Hipster style. Freedom is their cult. Including freedom from family obligations. In addition, he is likely to choose a girl “by style” rather than “for a lifetime.”
- A man prefers extreme or single sports (for example, surfing or snowboarding). He is passionate about himself, while the family must be viewed as a team.
From acquaintance to the first date
Do not be the first to call, do not write via instant messengers, do not comment on his status in social networks and do not show your presence at all. If a man does not call within 4 days, you should forget about him. He is not interested in you.
If a man calls you and makes an appointment for tomorrow, reject this date in a polite manner. Say you already have plans (even if you do not) and add you’ll be happy to see him next weekend. Let him know that you have your own interesting and active life, you do not sit alone, but do not decline the invitation altogether. If you are really interested in him, next time he will invite you in advance.
First date
Who pays on the first date? Don’t even ask yourself this question! The man always pays (of course, if you plan to live with him and not just dine). If a man himself offers to split the bill, this is a good ground for reflection. Why do you need a husband who is not able to pay for a portion of salad? If he is not ready to do anything for you during the first stage of the relationship, in the future, you will have to take the burden of household duties and, possibly, financial problems of the family.
Do not even look at the bill – neither on the first date, nor on the third, nor on the tenth anniversary of the legal marriage: the man solves financial problems by himself. He will definitely cope with a restaurant bill!
Should you agree to have sex after the first date? No! The relationship can continue after having sex on the first date, but the chance that it will lead to marriage is one in a million. There are couples who simply live together… And it is unlikely to have an official marriage in such cases: the man does not marry a woman whose disposition he has not won with an effort. There are exceptions, but they are so few that it’s not worth the risk.
Between the first and second date
The further you go, the more difficult it becomes. Men are afraid of being accused of harassment, so they do not dare to insist on the continuation of the romance if they have not received clear approval from the woman. Find reasonable limits: you can show that you would not mind another date, but it is the man who always calls, invites, and decides where to go. Is it old-fashioned? And isn’t it old-fashioned to want to get married?
Women with an active life position say “I decide” and “I act”. Of course, they can quickly get married: they decide, they tell the man, they register the marriage. Then they will also take all further decisions for the two of them… will it suit you?
First sex
After the first date, sex is impossible. And after the second date? Perhaps, the same. The second date is a good reason to figure out whether this respected person is good for you as a lover.
As an option, you can learn how to visually calculate the sexual constitution. In general, a man makes the same impression at the table and in bed. There are gourmets who enjoy every morsel. And there are people who are accustomed to swallowing everything. They don’t care what they eat. There are brutal predators tearing steaks with their teeth… Even decisiveness when choosing a dish more or less correlates with sexual activity.
Very important: your first sex should not happen on your territory! Even if a man does not have his own dwelling (will you really date such a person at all?), let him rent a hotel room or ask his friends for an apartment. If your lover didn’t stir a finger to arrange an intimate meeting and was literally presented with sex, he cannot be a serious candidate. Not only in sex – in everything. From this very moment, he knows that the woman can arrange and fix everything, the main thing is not to rush and fidget. He can marry you. But it is you who will be the man in your relationship.
From sex to marriage
The man wishes to start a family with the woman whom he finds emotionally easy to communicate with. You will not burden the man with his own affairs and concerns. On the contrary: he always rushes to help the woman and solves problems, if the woman considers him a protector and a breadwinner. Do not be afraid to seem a bit weak and defenseless – despite the idea of modern universal gender equality, many men like it.
These tips will help you get married. Time will tell how to live in a marriage with this man. The main thing is that all efforts should not be in vain and that one day you should not wake up with the thought: “How great it was to be alone!” or “What for do I need this marriage?”
