Not all women feel comfortable in the classic role of the seductress. But this is for the best. Because not all men find this image attractive.
Give up stereotypes
Let’s start with a simple question: what does a seductive woman look like and how does she behave? Nine out of ten people will probably imagine a fatal blonde with long hair, in a red dress with red lipstick on plump, parted lips. Sitting on a high bar stool, she languidly looks in the man’s eyes, twisting a curl on her finger. The blonde probably has a slender figure, long legs, and big breasts. All that is required of her is just to be herself, and men will approach her on their own.
Of course, we exaggerate, but this is the canonical image of a sexy woman. What if you are not thin, not blonde, your haircut is short, and you wear glasses and a backpack rather than high heels? If you start looking at the floor, at your nails or at your smartphone when you see a handsome man – not to look him in the eyes? If you hate this “unfemininity” in yourself and scold yourself for not matching the image?
First, you need to understand: sexuality and femininity go far beyond any stereotypes. Moreover, men are different, and they like different women.
Love your uniqueness
Yes, you are like that: imperfect. With freckles and a large nose, with an oriental cut of the eyes or large feet. With thin lips or pale skin. You are who you are.
In an effort to conform to the stereotypical notion of femininity, you forcefully try to fit yourself into uncomfortable frames. Wearing uncomfortable heels. Dyeing your hair. Losing weight. Buying 15 shades of red lipstick. Does it bring you joy? Most likely no.
We suggest starting to wear the clothes that you like, that adorn you, which you are comfortable in. By the way, a red fitting dress with a neckline is also included. The main thing is to see and accept yourself for who you are rather than try this “femininity” on when it suits you like a saddle a cow.
Find your own way to flirt
Of course, it is an effective technique to invitingly smile and turn off the cognitive functions of a man with the help of the neckline. But if you do not feel natural in this image, do not force yourself.
You can flirt in different ways: tell interesting facts about your work, mock at your interlocutor, tell dirty jokes, wrap yourself in a soft stole, sigh and say, “Bring me coffee, I’m losing strength!” Flirting can be not only theatrical, defiant, but also imperceptible, intellectual… Maybe you have your own way to attract attention? So take advantage of it.
Anything that helps attract attention and create contact with a man is good! If no contact has emerged, this man is not for you.
Select a victim for training
Of course, the word ‘victim’ sounds figurative. Being charmed by a pretty woman is quite a pleasant thing. So start practicing, and no man will get hurt.
Remember, your main task is to train to be yourself, to present yourself as you are. Of course, you can brag a little and embellish your talents.
At first, it will not be easy to remove the obsessive stereotypical image of a fatal beauty from your head and stop scolding yourself for inconsistency. Gradually, you will get used to it and you will notice that men show interest, even when you go out to buy bread in your sweatpants.
Find the right context
It won’t be difficult considering that we have expanded the concept of flirting. If a canonical attractive woman can flirt invitingly only at a party, in a restaurant and a theater, it is quite appropriate for an ordinary woman to have a little intellectual flirt in the office with colleagues and enchant a cute stranger in a coffee line with a sweet conversation.
You can flirt – that is, show interest in men and draw attention to yourself – wherever and whenever you want. In the subway and bus, in the supermarket, at the bus stop, in the lobby of the cinema, in the office and at a business conference.
Accept rejection calmly
Remember that flirting is not a tool for finding a groom and creating a family. This is a pleasant acquaintance, ease of communication, interest. There can be only one potential groom, but there can be many candidates for his place. When one of them is not interested in you, you don’t lose anything. There will always be someone who will reciprocate and feel the same.