Maureen Dowd: You once grabbed George Clooney’s butt on “Roseanne,” when he was playing your boss at the factory.
Laurie Metcalf: Confirm. It was scripted that I grab it, so who am I to pick a fight with the writers?
According to the Proust questionnaire in Vanity Fair, you want to be reincarnated as the most dependable pack mule on the Grand Canyon mule team.
You have better legs than John Lithgow.
At Steppenwolf, you directed John Malkovich in a wild late night show called “Big Mother.” You let him wear sideburns, one shaped like larva and the other spermatozoa.
I didn’t exactly let him. He just did it.
You have a rescue dog that’s named after Supergirl’s alter ego.
Confirm. My 13-year-old daughter’s obsessed with Supergirl. Supergirl’s alter ego is Carol Danvers. The dog’s name is Danvers. It’s a rescue dog from Turks and Caicos. The islanders call them potcakes, because they throw stray dogs the caky stuff on the bottom of the pot.
You work on a 750-piece or 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle in your dressing room between the matinee and evening shows.
You love working with Joe Mantello so much that when he directed the Sting musical, “The Last Ship,” you wanted him to write you a cameo role as an asexual deckhand named Swabby.
Yeah. We were laughing about Swabby.
Your idea of a perfect Saturday night is pizza and pinot noir and reality TV.
Confirm. Either a double green olive or half olive, half anchovy. So basically, it’s pure salt. And I like “Project Runway” and I like all the home improvement stuff. Like “House Hunters.” There’s some sort of bizarre comfort in it.