By all accounts, Marco Abbey is the sort of guy you’d welcome on any trip. He holds doors and hauls suitcases. He has a great sense of direction. He’s game to try different cultural activities.
It’s no wonder Marilyn Abbey, his grandmother, has crowned him “the perfect travel companion.”
If Grandma knows best, it’s because she took Marco on a weeklong trip to New Mexico in July 2018, shortly after his 12th birthday. The duo baked bread and made dream-catchers at the Hyatt Regency Tamaya, visited the Albuquerque zoo (the snakes were a hit) and explored the area on guided nature walks.
“I was never the grandmother who wanted to be babysitting every Monday,” said Ms. Abbey, 85, a retired writer and editor in Northfield, Ill. “I’ve always liked taking them to different places and I’ve always felt happy exposing them to a variety of new things.”
Ms. Abbey, who has now taken all of her grandchildren — four girls and two boys — on special train trips around their 12th birthday, isn’t alone. About a third of the more than 2,600 grandparents recently surveyed online by AARP Research have traveled alone with their grandchildren. The Family Travel Association noted a similar trend last year, surveying 1,168 grandparents and finding that 37 percent were likely to take their grandchildren on a skip-generational trip — as in, without their own children — in the coming three years.
“A lot of grandparents are looking at their lives, and they’re thinking, ‘I want to know this grandchild better’,” said Kay Merrill, a California-based travel adviser and founder of the Virtuoso-affiliated Are We There Yet Adventures.
“Gramping,” as the practice is known, allows grandparents and grandchildren to overcome distance and busy schedules and grow closer through traveling. But planning a trip spanning a six- or seven-decade age gap is bound to come with a unique set of challenges; say, divergent interests, energy levels, physical abilities, technology dependence and attention spans.
Hoping to crack the code, hotels and resorts have started to create packages aimed at entertaining both 8-year-olds and 80-year-olds. The formula: Mix a low-key on-site activity with a not-too-strenuous cultural excursion, and stick to pleasant, universally enjoyable experiences.
At Deer Path Inn in Lake Forest, Ill., that means afternoon tea and tickets to a botanical garden (Gramping Getaway, $499 a night). The Rittenhouse in Philadelphia has a Gramping Package (from $718 a night) with in-room s’mores and passes to the Franklin Institute; The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island pairs kayaking tours with pirate-themed in-room campouts (Suites, Sea and Stars Package, from $2,200 a night). There’s also Oregon Zoo tickets and afternoon tea at Hotel deLuxe in Portland, Ore. (Grand Escape, from $329 a night), or dining credits and water park passes at Timber Ridge Lodge & Waterpark in Lake Geneva, Wis. (Grandparents Getaway Package, from $169 a night).
“We’ve found that grandparents are looking for the conveniences of home in a safe environment with lots of activities both generations can enjoy,” said Jesse Kearns, the Timber Ridge resort manager. “Safety is a big concern, and being in an environment where everyone can enjoy the day at their own pace is key. A water park with lifeguards is a perfect fit: Grandparents appreciate the lazy river and family slides; grandkids love splashing the day away.”
Beach and theme-park vacations are the most popular gramping trips, according to the Family Travel Association survey. Although none of Disney’s family-friendly features (child care, multi-bedroom suites) are designed specifically for grandparents, the survey also found that Walt Disney World parks rank high among skip-gen vacationers.
Guided tours, which handle accommodations, meals and activities, are another option.
That was Ginger Bradbury’s move last June, when she and the sexagenarians she described as “the best people on the planet” explored Cape Cod and Martha’s Vineyard with VBT Bicycling Vacations. Along with Ms. Bradbury’s cousin, they biked more than 100 miles over the course of a week; electric E-bikes made it possible to cruise together, despite her “Pop-Pop’s” knee replacement.
“There were a lot of people in our group who were surprised they were my grandparents,” said Ms. Bradbury, a 21-year-old college student in Pennsylvania. “It’s pretty unique to be able to have that age difference and still be able to go on bike trip together.”
Tauck Bridges, the family-focused trips from Tauck, are about one-third skip-gen, according to the company. Especially popular among grandparents are itineraries with broad appeal, such as National Parks (which might include a pontoon float down the Colorado River) and European river cruises (which might include organized games onboard and scavenger hunts on land).
Meanwhile, the travel nonprofit Road Scholar offers 180 dedicated Grandparent programs that are all heavy on field trips, performances and educational activities.
Michael and Mary Behnke, of York, Me., selected two of such trips when their two eldest (of four) grandsons each turned 11. In 2016, they took grandson Owen Dietrich on a Broadway theater immersion in New York City; two years later, they took grandson James Behnke on an adventurous romp through Colorado, complete with white water rafting and a hot-air balloon ride. The Behnkes, both in their mid 70s, came to appreciate the preplanned nature of Road Scholar’s approach,.
“Having activities set up allows you to enjoy watching your grandkids experiencing a new place and new people: interacting with a group, following directions and expressing ideas,” said Ms. Behnke, a Classics teacher. “If we were schlepping around trying to organize the subway in New York and get from one place to another with him, I’m not sure we’d have been at our best.”
Road Scholar also segments its skip-gen trips by children’s age ranges. Active grandparents might take their preteen or teenage grandchildren kayaking and surfing in San Diego; a Poconos getaway, meanwhile, is designed for 5-year-olds and 11-year-olds alike (two words: wolf preserve). Indeed, trips with an animal or wildlife component are usually a hit with skip-gen families, according to the company, as are the National Parks and Paris. Hands-on activities (say, an escape room in a French chateau) help children stay off their phones, and a photo-sharing app allows parents to peep the action from afar.
In August 2018, Suzy and Gary Miller embraced another type of trip that handles many of the logistics — cruising — when they set sail off the coast of Juneau, Alaska, with National Geographic-Lindblad Expeditions. Although the Millers have developed meaningful relationships with their six grandchildren through regular extended visits at their homes in Florida, the weeklong expedition was an opportunity to bond with the two eldest, 12 and almost 10. They saw sea lions up-close, zipped around in Zodiacs, and tried their hand at fly fishing.
“We saw a totally new place and we did totally new things, but we know them and they know us, so it was a very comfortable situation,” said Ms. Miller, 70, who will take the boys on another National Geographic-Lindblad cruise — this time to Iceland — this summer.
At home in Bethesda, Md., Margery Miller Shanoff, Ms. Miller’s daughter, didn’t worry one bit.
“I lost all of my grandparents pretty early, and I want my kids to have as much time with theirs as they possibly can,” said Ms. Miller Shanoff, 45.
“Kids are different — and usually better — when parents aren’t around. It’s fine if the grandparents don’t do everything the same as you or if they mess up the schedule or feed the kids nothing but junk. None of that matters in the longer term,” she said.
Of course, grampers are bound to face generational differences. For the Millers, that meant wrangling two school-age boys who wanted to wear shorts and T-shirts — in 30 degrees.
“They’re always poking fun of me for whatever I’m doing — being cold, walking slow, walking fast — but I can goad them on just like they can goad me on. I was a teacher for a lot of years,” said Ms. Miller.
Grampers are also bound to confront general travel mishaps. After a delayed redeye from the West Coast, the Millers missed their connecting flight. Of six train trips, Ms. Abbey experienced only one delay and one upset tummy (later revealed as a symptom of “secret snacking”). And the Behnkes had to navigate the Denver airport, plus a four-hour drive through the mountains, with a sleepy preteen.
None of the grampers interviewed for this article had to contend with much homesickness, possibly because their grandchildren were all in the double digits. That tracks with the Family Travel Association survey, where most grandparents cited 8 to 12 years as an ideal age range. (Unsurprisingly, none expressed interest in traveling with a newborn or 1-year-old.)
“It’s the perfect moment between childhood and adolescence, and it’s an age where they’re able to stay up later, be a little more flexible with food and get to know other kids even if they’re a little shy,” said Ms. Behnke.
The Behnkes will fete their third-oldest grandson’s 11th birthday on a Road Scholar Grand Canyon tour in June; their youngest grandson, bringing up the rear, has already expressed his wishes: Greece. (He has been vetoed.) The Millers are toying with where to eventually take their four granddaughters, 3 to almost 10.
And as grampers on both ends of the generational spectrum know: Like fine wine, relationships get better with age.
“When I could go over to my grandparents’ house when I was little, they would be in their grandparent role: making sure you grow up healthy and strong,” said Ms. Bradbury, already a young adult on her VBT bike tour. “Now we have a real friendship — our relationship has shifted from a teaching role to a companion role.”
Sarah Firshein is the Tripped Up columnist for The Times. She formerly held staff positions at Travel + Leisure and Vox Media, and has also contributed to Condé Nast Traveler, Bloomberg, Eater and other publications. If you need advice about a best-laid travel plan that went awry, send an email to travel@nytimes.com.
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