Before you start looking for love on dating sites, read about 6 unobvious pitfalls of dating apps. The time, spent aimlessly, is the minimum loss that threatens you.
They require so much time
Reading messages, responding to comments, checking likes and studying the profiles of potential partners – all this takes a lot of time and energy.
Using dating apps is like going to a second job. Sometimes you have to devote whole evenings to this “side job”. Yet, in the case of a real side job you get material reward, though everything is different when it comes to acquaintances. Don’t take it for granted that something good will come out of a conversation with a (seemingly) handsome man. You can spend several hours on someone you will never meet in real world again.
Limit the time you spend on dating apps. An hour a day or so… You need to set a tight framework that will prevent you from falling out of reality and being distracted from current affairs.
They give hope and then take it away
A pleasant conversation in the application may end in nothing before meeting in real life. You make plans, expect a date, but the potential partner suddenly disappears. If this happens all the time, you quickly become discouraged.
Previously, people met at discos or in bars – at least it was a real meeting, which made it possible to assess the prospects. In the application, the interlocutors do not even have a chance to meet.
What to do? Keep your optimism low and don’t rely too much on online conversations. Communication on the Internet does not mean that the interlocutor is looking for a meeting. Perhaps he just decided to spend a boring evening, relax, and chatter.
They give a false impression of people
It’s pretty hard to understand on the Internet who is who in real life. One has to judge a person solely by their words. A “romantic” may turn out to be a womanizer, and a “lover of the sciences” can be boring.
After several disappointments, it may seem that you are attracting the wrong men. Perhaps you did not describe yourself vividly and did not present your desires too accurately. Potential partners take you for a completely different person. Try to look at your profile with the eyes of others – does the description convey your true intentions?
As for other people, it is better to divide everything into two, so you get a more or less truthful idea of who is writing to you in an attempt to impress.
They turn dates into interviews
On a date, you have to study the person again, analyze their words and actions, involuntarily comparing with the “dossier” that you managed to put together in your head while you chatted online. Moreover, the expectation may not coincide with reality.
Psychotherapists advise giving a person another chance. Or even two. Perhaps the second and third dates will be more successful. The man will relax and show his good sides. The two hours you spent together on your first date cannot predict the prospects of your relationship.
They make you think love doesn’t exist
Many women have faced this: judging by what most men write and offer, no one needs a long-term relationship. Indeed, sex without commitment is of interest to many. But among these Internet pick-ups you can find decent people who are interested in close long-term relationships. It just takes more time to find them.
By the way, do not be shy to complain about the most affectionate lovers, who keep sending photos of their genitals in private messages – the administration can block the profile of such a pervert.
Lower self-esteem
If your self-esteem is not strong, you can feel even more uninterested and unattractive in the dating application than in life.
The number of swipes and likes begins to affect self-esteem. “If no one likes me, I’m not worthy of attention” – do not let these thoughts settle in your head.
Always remember your value, who you are and what you want. Are you really looking for a relationship or want to find confirmation of your attractiveness in dating? The latter can be expressed in collecting likes and swipes, but it may not lead to serious relationships.
Remember that not all likes are equally useful. Sometimes it’s better to pause and take a break from dating. Focus on real life, on your inner self, develop your strengths and good qualities.
