Probably the strangest thing about it all is that, after so many centuries, thousands of books of fiction and scientific studies, women still don’t know men (and men don’t know women, either). What’s more, this state of things is pretty well incredible. There are people who boast they do, but can we really rely on their hard-acquired wisdom? If you try, you might find they are far wrong in your case, even if they handle their own affairs of the heart with obvious genius. So, it might be wiser to begin from a clean plate than to fall back on some pseudo tenable knowledge.
When dreaming late in the evening we may wonder about how it may be if full understanding between the sexes will suddenly appear out of the blue, how will it change the world? Will it be one grand party of mutual empathy and happiness, or what if it leads to a shift so dramatic that the whole world will be shaken to the core? The humankind won’t be able to sustain the strain of great cold truth, and the very possibility of any long-term relationships will be razed down. Ain’t no love in the heart of the city.
Yet, while there certainly are a lot of secrets that had better stay hidden, there are also things each sex would rather the other sex knew. We all want communication to be less faulty and less riddled with misunderstandings. We lose too many people we wouldn’t have lost if we had been aware of some particular things we had been blind to before, and we do what we can to rid our loves of poor communication and hasty opinions.
So, men would like women to know a few things that could help put miscommunication out of the way and make the sky above our heads clearer and sunnier. Get wise to these specific male features – maybe you have figured some of them out already?
The ability to read minds
Ladies, your minds are absolutely safe from invasions – at least from the male part of the population. While the notion has its good sides, there may be certain ramifications that endanger communication. So, when you are talking with a guy and hiding something from him (like the reasons for your gloomy mood) he won’t be able to read your thoughts or intuit what you are really feeling or thinking. If you are ticked off by something, why don’t you come out and say so? While you expect your man to set about investigating what keeps you nervous, uptight or anxious, well, he may just take your “everything’s fine” at its face value and let it go. You want him to know what’s up? He would like it much better if you were open about the issues that burden your heart.
How soon we are ready to move in
You are enjoying each other’s company and you are sure he thinks the world of you. But is it a good enough reason to come to his place the next time dragging your suitcase behind you? Your great guy may believe it is too early for that. He is still trying to let the feeling of togetherness sink in and not quite ready yet to move to the next phase. What if you fall out? If you were too fast to move in with him you both will find yourselves in a false position.
On the other hand, what a graceful gesture is to take along just a toothbrush and a couple of the bare necessities, and collect them when leaving the following morning. The guy doesn’t feel that he is being pushed into a relationship. Of course, it may look as if he doesn’t want a lot from you outside the wonderful between-the-sheets interludes, but it isn’t that at all. In fact, it is quite to the contrary: he is being serious about you and wants to see how things are developing without hurrying them along.
Swooning over Mr. Grey
Nobody doubts the way art shapes our outlook on the world and its habits. Yet now and then art can go too far, and sometimes it comes off with a totally unexpected bang! that spreads all over the world like wildfire. Is it always for the good? Not with the fifty shades of Mr. Christian Grey who went and slayed a lot of women with his highly dubious charms. Whereas it may look as if he were the dream guy of certain ladies, actually he isn’t the one they would like to date in real life (where chances run high that he would have been nabbed for his nefarious activities). Sooner or later (rather sooner) they would feel affronted and pained – and rightly so. This one looks much better on paper than he would do like your latest boyfriend.
Suppose we get back to fairy tales like Cinderella where the Prince who was desirous of another date with the unknown charming lady ransacked the whole kingdom in search of his lost love without thinking twice. In the past, such characters were intended to depict a welcome suitor who will do justice to the good girl. Are these days gone forever so that ladies grew to prefer a different kind of approach? It would be a pity.
That lovin’ feelin’
However thick-skinned and devoid of emotions men can appear on the surface, there’s no denying the fact that they have hearts that long for love and affection. And all of us keep hoping to be deeply and truly in love, enjoy the bliss of a union that can become a source of strength and inspiration.
We all know about the problems connected with love. It is suddenly upon us at the strangest times, sometimes when we don’t want any extra implications, uniting people who may not be free to give themselves completely to the feeling that captured their heart. However, there’s no way you could deny or subvert it.
Now men also believe in love – even those who currently go for fast pleasures and are happy to have a new girl for every month of the year, still there is a place in their souls that crave for the true emotion. They may be slow to admit it, but when you awake love in them, they will carry you in their hearts.
On the habit of putting other women down
With some women, it seems to be a dire necessity to tear to pieces other women that step within their range of vision. They may not be aware that to men it sounds very strange (at best). Such an attitude seems graceless, unsavory, and the woman who badmouths can be considered insecure for doing so.
It’s not quite clear what for women need to do that – does it put them on a superior plane? For a guy, it’s unthinkable to approach a woman with the sole purpose of informing her that some other fella is behaving abominably. (Well, maybe there are some who go about putting down the men they know for liking social posts of the wrong people, but on the whole, it is hard to be regarded as a male behavior.) What if men made a habit of it and told you about other guys’ undignified (or assumedly undignified) acts? Would you like listening to comparisons of men’s outfits, the qualities of their selfies or changes in their waistlines? Something tells us that you won’t love that so much.
The intimate imaginings
The general notion is that guys have sex on their minds all the time. Mostly that’s true, of course, we can only be more exact if we detract the time needed for sleep – but then again, they may be dreaming about it all night long, so, if everything is to be taken into account, that is probably completely true after all.
The fact is stated in a number of studies and reports issued at different periods, and they all agree that men have this coming up in their minds about every eighth second, or maybe around 150 times every day. But don’t you believe that; it ought to be much more because we don’t always catch ourselves thinking about it when we do.
There was interesting research conducted in Ohio State University-Mansfield in 2011, from which emerges that as the day wears on women have intimacy on their minds about as often as men do. And there’s no telling what imaginings are thronging on the mind of an individual of any sex when they stare at nothing in particular and don’t attend to what you are saying – it may be rather lewd thoughts…
The question of driving
Men and driving are inseparable – just think of controlling that big wonderful car, obedient to every slightest move of the wheel. Yes, there are those who are dead to this glorious feeling, but the exception only proves the rule: men adore driving, and enjoy speed.
When you are driving along with your boyfriend, any passing remark about running behind or some such shortcoming can be taken as a slight against his manhood and dealt with in an unexpectedly severe fashion. So don’t be surprised if your diver, who had been so collected and apt to make fun of things a short while ago, suddenly turned into a monster spewing curses and what you hadn’t thought was in his line at all.
Nights out for men only
When men go on a night-out party, they will never, repeat, never want it to be publicized in any way. They mean to have fun and no witnesses to it, women more than anyone else. Yes, girls should be strictly excluded, there’s no place for them. Believe it or not, it doesn’t have anything to do with love, they do love you, but they would rather be left alone on this particular night.
Guys’ company is a very exclusive thing. Some things said or done there might be considered offensive or undeservedly mean, but they are just men talking, no more, no less. Let them feel free for the time being.
People we are talking about
Linda and Trisha had words, and Silva supposes that Nelly really went and did it, but Gloria says no. Women are quick as lightning at sorting out these valuable bits of information; then they are surprised that men aren’t. Why for it’s so easy. It could be easy if men knew who these women are.
Fact is, men don’t remember names as well as women – it’s not their thing. While prehistoric women did just that – discussed their neighbors next cavemen were out hunting, and they didn’t need to know exactly what their meat was called. Now women, when they sought herbs, had to tell one herb from another, and they needed to know what berries they were picking. Then they had fun comparing notes and teaching their daughters what edibles grow where. Yes, that’s evolution at work, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Asking whether you are overweight
Once a woman begins to suspect she is growing a bit fatter than she wants, it’s time for her to enroll for a gym. What your boyfriend is going to tell you is that you look fine, without undue fat, but will that help? Not at all. The gym is the best bet, eventually. And there is no point in trying to get cheap reassurance.
This insistence on getting the weight feedback is something whose importance escapes guys. They don’t go around asking people’s honest opinion about their waistlines and thighs. They head right for weight lifting, running, whatever they like best. Though it leaves them sans the acute satisfaction of being told that you are no fatter than your pet cat, they feel the better for having done their bit with this sporting equipment. It goes for long-term physical happiness – and when they advise their girlfriends to work out more, that’s not because they believe them to be fatter than usual: they want them to gain self-confidence (that they show only too often that they sorely lack).
Watching mushy movies
Men are wont to say that one of the relationship obligations becomes watching mushy movies together (The Notebook is the one often cited nowadays), yet if you dig into the issue you may find they don’t really mind it and might even enjoy it. Let’s own it up – Rachel McAdams is a mightily attractive eyeful and the story is all right; moreover, movies like The Notebook make women more romantic and affectionate than Family Guy – and that’s something to be taken into account!
Then, having to watch mushy stuff can be an excellent ground for striking a compromise. It will be a chick flick tonight but the next time we will go and see the new action blockbuster. Keep it up like this, and you may discover romantic movies do touch your heartstrings, and your good woman may be enthralled by the love interest in the action flick – to everyone’s satisfaction.
Friends regarded in a different light
Ladies, be mindful of how your boyfriend sees your friends. While you may think (and have been thinking for years) that she is immensely likable and fun to be with, he may be of a very different opinion – although he won’t be in a hurry to inform you about that. He finds her too harsh in her opinions and throwing her weight about too much.
It can be a little awkward if she has been your BFF for quite a while, and you hit it off like hell in grade school, but mind you don’t drag her in every time if you see your guy isn’t reacting to this like he’s supposed to. He delights in time spent with you, so why detract from the delight of one-to-one relationship? You can feel more comfortable with your friend around to make your date more amusing, but if the guy finds it irritating, sorry, you are ruining your chances for a relationship.
Being stuck in a game
Flirting is a nice game to play, and generally, both parties enjoy it, but the game can’t last for too long; people who are in it for a serious relationship will feel the moment when the game ought to stop. Once you’ve reached that point, and one of the couples keeps on playing, it will be emotionally exhausting for the other one who doesn’t get the reciprocation they were hoping for.
You came to feel that you like each other, and from this point on everything is clear; you don’t want foolish complications thrown in. Meanwhile, some women can find excuses for being anxious and stressed, make guys feel nervous too and create complications where there shouldn’t be any. If you find it difficult to step out into the open and start a relationship, that means either you are still unsure about the guy, or you lack the openness necessary for moving into the next phase: work on it.
Living in the real world
We all have on our minds those nice moments we saw in reality shows and movies where a guy does crazy romantic things like climbing through windows to take another look at his beloved or casts off all that he has in order to reunite with the most beautiful of all girls in the world. But stop and think whether you want your boyfriend to act along these lines for an extra romantic couch in your love.
If you see a man climbing into your bedroom window, you won’t start thinking he has romantic intentions: dial 911 and see if you were wrong. Accordingly, what will you think about a guy who can at the drop of a hat quit doing whatever he was doing and rush out to you to see why you texted him? That would be a bit worrying, wouldn’t it? It looks a mite too nervous for our taste.
Also, it isn’t practical to expect your guy to have a million dollars on his bank account in case his girlfriend struck an emergency or got deserted in the middle of nowhere. Or suddenly felt like taking a vacation on a beautiful island in the ocean where you can get by chartering a plane. You may be right in wanting some more than a Subway dinner, but you really should keep in touch with reality about your wishes. Don’t live off reality shows and leave fool’s paradises in your dreams on a rainy day.
Meanwhile, the man you fancy has a full-time job and something extra on the side to pay his way and get you some nice treat time and again, and you are busy working too, so you can’t meet every time you would like to. Can you enjoy what is real?
Admitting we are wrong
Owing up to having been wrong is something everyone hates to do. It’s understandable, and it’s lamentable, but there it is: you can’t escape erring at times. And it takes some guts to say so without flinching.
Men do know they can be in the wrong sometimes; they suffer from the understanding, and the last thing they want to get at this time is “Here, it’s just as I told you it would be!” from their girlfriends. They don’t want their good girl to act patronizing because of a silly mistake. Nobody’s perfect, and that’s what we all have to lump and accept.
